You've got that right Jeff. There are many women that would be thrilled to have you and have you appreciate them.. I am sure they are all around you. But if you keep looking at the closed door you won't see the one that is open beside you.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
You've got that right Jeff. There are many women that would be thrilled to have you and have you appreciate them.. I am sure they are all around you. But if you keep looking at the closed door you won't see the one that is open beside you.
kat
I agree Kat, but to use your analogy, I also hope we all don't rush through the 1st or 2nd open door we find, but take time to make sure we've got a really good door? Ok, that sounds stupid, but I really do want all of us to have the kind of Rs that we deserve to have in the (near) future. Karen
Kat: But if you keep looking at the closed door you won't see the one that is open beside you
I know what you mean, I have to get the stbx out of my head. W just called to see what I was doing, asked if I was going out tonight, said I didn't have to tell her where, I just said yes I'm going out.
I'm just going up to bar where she works (she has the kids so she isn't working) both her and I are good friends with owners. Going to grab some dinner and a few beers.
I have been thinking of dating again, not right now but probably next year, will not be looking for anything serious just someone to have fun with (will let them know up front - honesty best policy) I don't want to jump into something right away but would love to have someone to do things with. Going to be rough on me being so shy.
W41 M10.75 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
Yep, I am shy too. I keep trying to do things alone. Challenging myself to get comfortable in my own skin. I don't go to bars, never have but sometimes think I just need to go to places and see who is available!
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Thanks for your words on h4h's thread. I don't know if I am helping people as much as helping myself. To hear their pain helps me be more understanding to my H and his feelings. He doesn't always share and it helps to see how I made him feel so that I can make amends that way. It's funny how I can see things so differently now. When you are in the thick of things you really can't see what is in front of you.
I admire how you have handled everything. Your wife checking up on you....interesting......she may be coming around. You, are hanging in there. I love how you have totally focused on your kids and being a father and yourself. You are smart to be waiting to date. Also, smart to be thinking about it. I think thinking about it is really the first step. To wrap your mind around the idea even is probably pretty scary/strange/exciting. It wouldn't be fair to anyone you see right now and you know that. Again, admirable. Being honest with them up front....smart.
It's not over until it's over. In church this weekend the readings were about being self righteous. The deacon did the homily and spoke of his brother who was a "player" all his life, made bad choices alll the time, married, cheated on his wife, divorced, etc. He spoke how his community hated him, the church abandoned him, etc. Meanwhile, his ex wife prayed for him. Had her whole church praying for him and he didn't know. Right before his brother asked another to get engaged to him, he drove to the state where his ex lived. He told the Deacon (his brother) that he needed to talk to her. He never came back. He is with his wife to this day, remarried. Power of prayer. The deacon also talked about how it saddened him because his brother felt like he could never come home because of the judgements of the people there. He said he can't see his brother but once or twice a year because of it. People and their "holier than thou" attitudes. He reminded us how Jesus told the people that the tax collectors, the lowly, the prostitutes, will get to heaven before all others. For me, this hit me, because even though I have done what I've done, I still tend to judge others on other things. I need to be better at that. Anyway, the beginning of the story, and the power of prayer made me think of you. Your wife is so lost, so in need of counseling, if anything, I hope she gets that. And you, you deserve happiness, however that will come to you.
Just a quick plug for the movie Fireproof. Proof that God can and does save hopeless marriages. Don't give up. The world wants us to. But we are in a supernatural battle to save our soul and the soul of our lost spouse. Look, if it can give me hope, I know it can give you hope as well!
Whatdidido writes: Jeff Thanks for your words on h4h's thread. I don't know if I am helping people as much as helping myself. To hear their pain helps me be more understanding to my H and his feelings.
I'm sure this site helps people in different ways, it both helps and hurts me, and I've always been conflicted about coming here. It helps me to post my thoughts and get feedback from such great people, but it's also a place of pain and a constant reminder of what I've been through. I see so many new people come to this site and I see the pain from the people I've come to know and I don't want them to hurt anymore.
Whatdidido writes You, are hanging in there. I love how you have totally focused on your kids and being a father and yourself. You are smart to be waiting to date. Also, smart to be thinking about it. I think thinking about it is really the first step.
I know I can do better; I need to get my head straight and start working more on myself and doing more for the kids. My house is not in order (euphemism) so it's not time to invite guest over. I know this but it hurts because I crave companionship, the touch of a woman again, wow - hanging around with the guys just isn't the same.
Thanks whwtdidido for the kind words I agree that my W is sooo lost, and I have continued to pray for her and everyone here
Update on how such a crappy 2008 I'm having I work for Wachovia (I'll be ok) NEW YORK (Reuters) - Citigroup Inc agreed to buy Wachovia Corp's banking operations, rescuing a major lender felled by bad mortgages amid turmoil in global credit markets. The $2.16 billion all-stock transaction was brokered by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. U.S. Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke said it would foster financial stability.
Something weird, W called and her best friend (on 3rd husband) brother had his W walk out on him after 13 years, W said he was browbeaten, his W was domineering and she left with the kids. The guy is falling apart and W wants me to send her girlfriend a copy of what I composed for W and my D settlement. My 8 page type written statement of the conditions I would agree to in our D, so this guy will know what his rights are. I'm not going to send the exact copy, but I will send her something and advise that this guy get a L and see a C asap.
I can't just keep swimming, I need to get working on myself and do better job with the kids (I know I can do better)
W41 M10.75 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
Karen