I just hope that lizard doesn't pop up while you are trying to take notes. I am rooting for you Jen. Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
Ok so I had the session. She's absolutely wonderful and so supportive.
I told her about the evening that I went out and got the nasty message from him and all related events up to me finding the receipt. She thinks its a question of control. He doesn't like that I've gone out an made new friends because he doesn't know anything about them. She said that our R dynamics have changed a bit and it's not what he expected.
I also told her about what happened at the club on Friday. She said that the best thing is to act as if when his phone rings. Don't give any attention to it so that he starts to wonder why am I not getting upset about it. It would be a big change for me. She said it seems like he's still having some contact with his EA but I shouldn't worry about it.
She was happy that we have ML since the D and said that it shows that he's not 100% done. He's confused and we need to build on the confusion. We want him to feel comfortable around me and want to spend time here. She said to offer him something to drink when he's here and to be welcoming. The more he's around the more he sees changes and the more confused he gets. We want him to question the D. We want him to want to ML again.
She told me to remember to believe none of what they say and only half of what they do. For example he told me Friday night that he never cared about me and I was on my own but Saturday night he picked me up from getting groceries. If I was on my own then he wouldn't have helped me out.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Yes, you "acting as if" will be a change that noticed for sure.
As far as the believing what they say, I've read some real doozies (sp) around here that have been retracted or shown to be untrue, even if they're sure they mean it at the time. I know I've come up with some stunners myself in the past that make me cringe later. As such a repeat offender, I'm really glad I changed that unsavory habit.
I can see you learning & changing daily. Reading about it helps me to see things from a different vantage point too.
T minus 15 minutes lol