Groundhog Day WAW #16

[LostPhil]

Well it turns out it is an ok morning. Went to bed early and woke up at 5:30. WHY? Got up and did some light cleaning, then I layed back down until the alarm went off.

Yesterday, oh yesterday. I said in the last thread how I was texting her all day. Then I left her alone after the children called from their day at school.

Most of the texting was because my daughter was upset on Sunday and threw up or something. Wife tried to blame it on me stating that I caused her to be upset. I said no that was you. You dropped them off at 6:30 stayed for a 1/2 hour and then left. Then you didn't bother to call me to tell me what was going on. I'm in the dark wondering where they are and what time I'm going to get them tomorrow. You don't answer your phone. I asked your Dad in a favor to have them kids call me at 10. They didn't. Then your Dad agreed he would bring the kids to me at 11 on Sunday. You didn't have the decency to confirm any of this. Then you started texting me on Sunday that you wanted to be with them. You should have been with them the night before, but you would rather be with someone else. Your Dad flipped out on me. That is what upset daughter. Because we can not read your mind, and you put the kids in the middle of it.

So I left her alone. I think I must of texted her 20 things during the day. I must of hit a nerve.

Then boom cha ka lucka. The pig girl starts spewing venom on me through text. She is pi$$ed because I was running my mouth about her to my wife. I said b girl, why does it matter what I say to my wife about you. You are taking this out of context. More venom and cursing. I said you are a verbal abuser, and you teach my wife. I don't need it.

I keep my cool with her. I told her to stop validating my wifes piss poor behavior. She then told me it was none of my business where my wife went Saturday night. I text I didn't ask where she was. I just told her I know she wasn't with her kids. Because she doesn't want to be with her kids. She dumped them on her mother.

I said you are the same way b girl. You can't stand your kids. You use the same language towards me as you do to your children I witnessed it.

She text. You don't know nothing about me, you MF. I don't need no man telling me about my business.

I said you see that is the verbal abuse both of you use towards your partners. You provoke us till we snap.

She text. For your information I have a man and I'm very much in love with him.

I text. Well hopefully you will learn to keep him and not provoke him with verbal abuse.

I text. Whatever have a good night, and tell my wife I love her.

She text. If you loved her then she would be home.

I text: I do love her, but she needs to make the first step towards love.

She text: Step up....

Anyways very fruitless, but I need to step up. I text step up. I give that woman everything. I'm a straight A student. I went to work everyday. Whatever she wanted she got. She wanted another bedroom. She got a giant addition. What did I get. Constant verbal abuse?

I text step up. I am the Mother and Father now.

Like I said friutless. This woman needs to get her claws out of my wife. She is dragging her down into her pit. Has been for years.

Then the kids want ice cream and we are on our way home. I want to be Mr. Nice guy and let her see the kids. They are not busy at the store so we stop and get out. I said to her. Why did you sick your girl friend on me. She said because I was running my mouth. I said that was between you and I not her.

Because I said the same thing to my wife in text. I said your teacher the b girl is a verbal abuser and both of you provoke your partners to snap. Then you act like her now. You don't want to be with your kids because you can't stand them. Your sister is the same way, that is why her kids are always at your parents. She just comes over when she feels like being a mom. It doesn't work that way.

Then she wanted me to pay for the ice cream. I never had to before, and they are just kiddie cups. You don't have to pay for kiddie cups. I give her three dollars and tell her to keep the change. She said just leave and don't annoy me at work. She said in front of her worker. Thanks I'll use it towards the child support. These people do not want to her our problems.

Man I lost it. I opened the window and told her that it is you creating the problems, and that comment was out of line.

I walked away. She opened the window and said. I love you kids. I said no you don't, and walked away.

When I got home I texted her. If you loved the kids you wouldn't be doing what you are doing. That comment in front of your workers was out of line.

At twenty to nine I had the kids call her. I told her that her poor daughter is still doing home work. She said that homework shouldn't take that long and if it does then the teacher needs told. I told her son is eating, again.

I wanted to make sure she knew he was eating because she texting me yesterday that son was hungry when they got home and she said make sure I feed them. (All those kids do is eat.)

She picked them up. I told her to come to me. She said what? I gave her a big hug and held her for about a minute. She kept her hands on my sides. It was nice. Then I kissed her cheek.

Out in the car. I'm trying to explain to her about everything. I need PJ clothes because the kids took them all. I also put $6.50 in sons baggie for lunch, they are having grilled cheese tomorrow and they both want a hot lunch. I said I filled out the emergency contact information forms. She was mad because she wanted to fill it out with more numbers. I said I put your mom your sister and all our numbers on it. There is still room for additional number. The children start interupting. I ask them to stop it because I do not want to forget anything I need to tell mommy. She says hurry up your wasting my gas, just text me with whatever you forget. I said dear knock it off I'll fill your tank up ten times. She get all pi$$y. She starts to back off. I said burn the anger (wifes name)

This morning the kids did call me. I wished D good luck with the spelling test and asked her if she remembered the words she had trouble with. She said yes. I said ok, have a great day, I love you. She says I love you too. Then I tell her to put on her brother. Then I'm talking to son. He is all cranky. I said son please be good for mommy, don't give her a hard time. I tell him I love him, and I put on mommy.

I'm on the phone and no one is there. I can hear her talking. I keep saying hello. Then my wife says Oh sh|t I'll call you right back. She probally dropped something or whatever.

She called back. I said I'm confused about your schedule. It says 10 to question mark, and then 4 till close. She said oh don't worry about it, B girl is alone today so I might go in for a couple of hours during her shift, but I'm working tonight. I said are you going to take the kids to your moms. She said it depends on how busy the store is. I'll call and let you know.

Ok good bye.

Then a half hour later. I text her. During prayers last night your son prayed no more living in two houses.

She text 10 minutes later. Y didn't you check daughters 10 page home work. She was checking it when we got home.

I text. I did check it. She said it isn't due until Friday. But she is an overachiever. She want's A's. She has drive.

The saga... Is about parenting.

Now I have become the single parent that is the mother and the father. She always felt like she was the single parent. She is trying to throw this in my face. Difference is, I worked she stayed at home. That stuff was her job as far as I was concerned. I helped when I could. I had allot on my plate. Building an addition, putting in a kitchen, building a deck, and going to school full time. Then I also had to go to work.

She thinks that now since she works, all of the responsibility is on me. She is never around the kids and she works almost every night. She only deals with them at night, and in the morning. After school for about a half hour and that is it.

When she doesn't feel like being a mother on her days off, she dumps them on her mom and goes out. She sneaks out. She doesn't want me to know what she is up too. However I told her I don't care what she does. Just stop hurting the kids, and stop putting them in the middle. She said well my mother wanted them to stay with her.

I'm done with this. The kids are my priority. They will stay with me not your mother.

Everything with her has to be a pigeon hole. She looks for a needle in a hay stack to find fault.

[phoenyx]

She picked them up. I told her to come to me. She said what? I gave her a big hug and held her for about a minute. She kept her hands on my sides. It was nice. Then I kissed her cheek.

huh?
your w or your d?

[LostPhil]

My wife. I hugged my wife. Because I haven't gotten a hug from her in so long. I know I should not bother with her, but even the dogs get scraps from the masters table.

I always kiss the children.

You see this whole hug thing was very much a part of us during Waw@home stage, and even in the first two months of seperation.

I always hugged her when I left for work, and I always hugged her when she got home from work. Etc... After she got home from work. I would usually cuddle with her. We would watch Frasier and cuddle. Sometimes I would take it a little too far. I would either get lucky or get denied.

During the seperation she came at day two and we ML. Then every time she would come to the house she would want me to kiss her on the cheek.

During waw@home when she would leave for work. She sometimes would kiss me on the lips.

Now there isn't no hugs. None initiated from her. Which confuses me. Because she gave me that line. I never felt like you loved me. So I was overly affectionate.
Then we would exchange I love you's.

Now nothing. I don't say it anymore, because I got burned about three times. Plus I got conked on the head for saying it. Which is confusing because sometimes she would initiate it. Mostly me though. Which confuses because of the line never felt like you loved me.

Then it felt like she was coming down from the mother ship for a minutes, and then zoom right back up.

Well now it feels like she is staying up there.

Was she being somewhat affectionate playing games with me because she wanted to come in the house and do laundry everyday.

Who knows... what those woman think.

Here is something interesting. This was mentioned and I think there is some truth to it. Son who would never leave his momma's side stay with me. Hoping to bring us together. Daughter who was Daddy's little buddy would always stay with her. Hoping to bring us together.

I know this seperation is really hurting the kids. I mean for my six year son to say in prayer last night. No more living in two houses. That just kills me.

Now do I want her to come back because of guilt. Really I don't care how she comes back. As long as she comes back. If she is willing to work at it. Only if she is willing to work at it.

[qoe100]

Your arguing, calling your W names, harassing her with so many calls, getting into it with her Dad is also hurting the kids, since you seem to do it in front of them a LOT. Why don't you stop it? Do a 180.

[hoosiermama]

Phil, please tell us that these rage-filled conversations are not happening in front of "those children." Please tell me they don't hear you say she doesn't love them, she can't stand being with them, she dumps them on her parents. Because if they are witnessing these conversations, it is doing them permanent harm. Your daughter is overachieving to be sure she's still loved, your son is praying about the situation, they're interrupting your conversations because they don't want them to turn ugly. Please stop this in front of the children.

I know I've been banned from your thread. But you know what? I don't care when it's something this blatant and this damaging. You have to stop this.

[phoenyx]

you want her to come back? don't text her for 2 weeks, that will be a good start. SHE wants you to "step up". Let her cool down. be back, link all your threads for me please

[qoe100]

Phil,
I know you're an angry person but please look at this from your kids POV. Phoenix and HM are right in what they're telling you to do.

I just want you to stop hurting your kids. Any time you talk badly about their mother in front of them they are hurting. YOU are doing this to them, yet you claim to love them. Stop it.

I con't care what happens to your W, what you call her, etc. She's an adult. However, what you're doing is definitely not making points with her. Is that what you're aiming for?

[LostPhil]

No Phoenyx... I don't have time to link all my threads.

No Hoosier... They are not in front of the kids. Now go away. You think you know it all you don't. My daughter was an overachiever with school because she gets it from me. I am an overachiever. Wife is underachiever. Guess what son has the same trait.

Now please Hoosier, knock it off. You are not banned. You were asked not to post to me.

No the children interupt because they always interupt. That is why wife and I grew apart, and never had time together. GET IT! Now take your psychobabble and hit the road. Stop bogging me down with nonsense.

NO GOING DARK DOES NOT WORK WITH THIS WOMAN. SHE THROWS IT IN MY FACE. THAT I DO NOT WANT TO BE WITH THE KIDS. I DO NOT ANSWER MY PHONE ETC...

Now everyone... Things are calm. LP is cool. Everytime I implement advice it back fires.

Yesterday was a major major backslide. Blaming her etc... Got so bad she called for additional forces from the validating pig girl.

She knows I'm right... She can't push my buttons either. Every little thing she tries to get my goat isn't working.

Why does she continue to look for fault in every little thing? Why is she still running?

Your arguing, calling your W names, harassing her with so many calls, getting into it with her Dad is also hurting the kids, since you seem to do it in front of them a LOT. Why don't you stop it? Do a 180.

I don't call her names. That was a couple months back and I removed those words from my vocabulary. Getting into with her Dad. No I asked the man for a favor. He didn't follow through, and he facilates this seperation right into a divorce. Because his daughter is crazy. I'm not hurting the kids. And I don't harass her with phone calls. I use her medium texting. Because she does it to harass me.

Waits until the middle of the day to confirm where the kids are going to be. Where I need to pick them up. Etc...

Her Mother facilatates her bad behavior too. Oh let the kids stay over night with me. Then my wife doesn't bother to tell me. They are my kids and I have every right to know where they are at all times. I have the right to say if they can stay with her mom. They should be staying with me if she wants to gallavant. But NO, she doesn't want me to know what she is doing.

But I told her I don't care what you do. Stop hurting the kids. Stop driving me nuts putting the kids in the middle. I want the kids. I want them. I'm at the point where I'm ready to file for full custody. Everything she didn't want to do. She can go blow up. I told her that. I don't care what she does. Just stop putting the kids in the middle. GO BLOW UP!

Her Dad is a damn coward! Acting dumb and forgetful. I asked him for help with her. Because he was my best friend, but he can't talk no sense into her. Because she doesn't want to hear it. Then her Mother gets involved and tells FIL what to do. Because the man has no backbone. They act like self righteous holier than now Catholic Christians, but they enable and facilitate an out of control daughter wanting divorce.

Didn't you read where I said her Dad told me to back hand her if she got out of line when I asked to marry his daughter. He said you can marry her on two conditions. She can not come back, and if she gets out of line back hand her, because she can be a real b|tch.

Everytime he tries to talk to her, it gets turned around like I'm telling on her.

[LostPhil]

qoe100,

THERE ARE NO POINTS WITH THIS WOMAN... Everything gets canceled out or some other fault is found. It is never good enough. NEVER!

Bottle water incident. She said I couldn't do one simple thing and get daughter a bottle of water for school. She was asking for favors treating me like crap at twenty till 11. What if I would have done that.

She most likely would have said it was the wrong kind of water or something. ALL BS... Her store sells bottled water. It's all BS with her every single comment, incident, or whatever.

The kids POV... they think there mother is nuts too. They tell me. I said no honies, she is just a little sick right now. My son says, yeah but she always screams at you, and you do not scream back. Then he gives me the coo koo symbol on his head, and says mommy.

Every time they are with me, they want to do something. Because I do stuff with them. I ask them. Where did Mommy take you. They say no where, because she is boring. She only wants to go shopping and never does fun stuff.

It's all about her.. Me, me, me, mememememmememeemememememeememem.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MOMMA MIA!

Just let me journal, and pray for my family.

Thank you...

[phoenyx]

Thing is you are enabling her as much as "pig friend". It's not a matter of going dark, it's a matter of not feeding her fire, not giving her ammo. You are the blame right now, you take you out of the equation, she has to take responsibility for her feelings or whatever. It would also give you a chance to slow down.