I posted this yesterday and then my thread go locked.
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This just gets worst.
He came by to pick up one of the debit cards and he started getting upset because 2 days ago I asked his Dad to send me the clothes D had there. I told his Dad is was so could see if anything was missing or lost. His Mom apparently got upset with that and didn't understand why if she has bought D clothes why all of it should be here. I had told his dad I wanted to do an inventory of sorts and I'd send more clothes back. XH was telling me that he had to deal with his Moms sh!t AND my sh!t. I couldn't get a word in edgewise.
Then he started in about Thursday night. He told me I had said I'd be back at 8 when I know for a fact I told him I was going out around 8. He was upset because I didn't call Thursday to clarify. I was clear so why should I have had to clarify. He said that I call for dumb stuff but I couldn't have called him Thursday. I asked him why he didn't call me to clarify.
This is dumb. I'm so sick of it. Everytime I think I'm doing the right thing I get slapped in the face
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Yesterday we had the horrible confrontation and when he left I must have cried for an hour. We spoke again on the phone for about 20 minutes. We both are going to work on being friends again and I hope this time we don't slip back into the pit.
I went on my hash and we all had a great time. I arrived home at 9:30pm but D and XH had previously decided that she would stay with him last night so I arrived home to an empty apartment.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
I'm getting the feeling that the two of you are coming at this from different directions, which isn't too surprising! It seems to me that you are expecting, or at least hoping, for too much too fast, and you get really slammed when you don't get it. This is going to take a long time, if it is going to work. try to control your expectation, and look for the positives to keep your spirits up. He still wants to be friends, I think that is a really good thing. Be willing to take it slow, and try not to put pressure on him, or yourself, for that matter!
I am glad that you had a great time at the hash. Like Floyd and Jeff said..patience..patience..patience!!! I know it's not so easy....I too get very impatient and then frustrated. But him saying that he is going to work on at least being friends is still good too.
We've discussed my lack of patience before haven't we? I need to calm myself down and take it easy. I think that we are both trying to work this out but I think we have different goals...his is to be friends and mine is to be married. I guess I should stick to being friends right now eh?
Ok for some positives. We went with D to get new swim goggles and then to the drugstore. He came back here and just left. So we spent 2 hours together and didn't have a single spat We were both comfortable and it was nice. When he left I told him if he gets bored he's welcome to come back to which he smiled.
Last edited by JenInVen; 09/01/0808:32 PM.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
XH, D and SIL all have birthdays in November. So he was telling me today that instead of having BDay party for just D we'd have one big bash for all three. We'll invite some of D's friends, "our" friends and some of his sisters (everyone knows everyone else anyways) He suggested that me and XSIL do the decorating and we'd buy a case of whiskey and some beer and have a big blast.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
That is an awesome idea, and shows he still is thinking about that !!!
Im still standin better than I ever did looking like a true survivor feeling like a little kid Im still standin after all this time and Im picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind..
XH, D and SIL all have birthdays in November. So he was telling me today that instead of having BDay party for just D we'd have one big bash for all three. We'll invite some of D's friends, "our" friends and some of his sisters (everyone knows everyone else anyways) He suggested that me and XSIL do the decorating and we'd buy a case of whiskey and some beer and have a big blast.
Woot!! I love it!
FLoyd The grass is always GREENER over the septic tank.
Hey Lola...this was the first time he brought it up to me so it is a very good thing. That he is thinking of the future and that there is a "we" in it of some sort is great news!
He was telling me all about the situation of new apartment today. His friend is in Spain on training for 3 weeks and she had left him in charge of it. He is fed up and he told her that she'd hve to deal with the owners when she returned. That he trusted me enough to talk about it is super. I think now all I have to do is not mention it again so I don't seem nosey.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
I need to calm myself down and take it easy. I think that we are both trying to work this out but I think we have different goals...his is to be friends and mine is to be married. I guess I should stick to being friends right now eh?