Perfect timing Karen: Just received a call from W a half hour ago, girl friend has extra ticket to Bellerive Country Club PGA tour game tomorrow
guess what: its a once in a life time chance for her, so she is dropping off the kids tomorrow morning
couldn't even make it 2 days with the kids, before something more important came up, but it will be OK because she is going to promise to take the kids to the zoo next Saturday
Can everyone say WAM (walk away mom)
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming
M45 W41 M10.75 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
After all of these months, FH is just now taking the kids for the whole weekend. Well he is kinda keeping them as hostages since they don't want to stay with him. But they always running in when they get home giving me hugs and kisses and saying, Mommy, Mommy. Nothing like feeling the love.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
Always amazed, talked to W last night and she knew I was going to 8:30 mass. I was sitting there in church and (my thought was) holly crap W and kids walk in and sit with me.
She told me last night that she always enjoyed taking the kids to church (I cannot remember in the last 2 years when that ever happened) - I didn't say anything
The second reading was Romans 13:8-10
8 Owe nothing to anyone-except for your obligation to love one another. If you love your neighbor, you will fulfill the requirements of God's law. 9 For the commandments say, "You must not commit adultery. You must not murder. You must not steal. You must not covet." These-and other such commandments-are summed up in this one commandment: "Love your neighbor as yourself." 10 Love does no wrong to others, so love fulfills the requirements of God's law.
I wounder if she was paying attention to the readings ??
Adultry is considered a mortal sin for the Catholics.
We are Catholic and she went to communion (wow) anyone (in the state of mortal sin) receiving the Holy Eucharist without confession is guilty of a sacrilege.
She parked next to my truck and after mass, she was out of there so fast, They must have ran out of the church because when I got to my truck she had all the overnight clothes I packed for the kids to stay with her this weekend, had all the kids in my truck and was driving away.
she did not say one word to me either before mass, during mass or after mass.
All together now and say WAM (walk away mom)
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming
M45 W41 M10.75 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
I have been reading some of your posts. Your W sounds just as off the wall as mine. I was taking a different approach, but that is starting to wear thin.
The whole church thing was pretty amazing. I can still be pleasant with my W, but the thought of taking her back gets farther away. It is good to see that you are such a good man and taking care of your kids the way you are.
I got a friend at the guard unit who's W had an affair. They got back together and she left him again. He is also taking all the responsibility for the kids. Good to see people like you guys out there.
I have two SD. The older is a bit of a problem, the younger considers me her dad. Their dad treats both of them like crap. I do walk a fine line with the younger since I have no "real" rights to her.
Take care of yourself. Like the Nemo reference and the you tube clip.
Last edited by yenko69; 09/07/0810:20 PM.
A warrior does not give up on what he loves, he finds the love in what he does
I think the church thing is weird too. My H also takes the kids to church every other week. My guess is they rationalize from talks I've had with my H: Well adultery is horrible, but in my case it's ok b/c I don't love my W anymore and we're going to get divorced or whatever they can think of as a decent excuse. Karen
lwb, how are you, I hope everything is going great for you any more 5K runs lately, I'm hanging in there hope you are to, is this st louis weather crazy or what, one day summer next day its fall
yenko69: first thank you for your comments, I'm confused I read some of your post, now remember I'm a old stuborn Germay but whats going on, here are some quotes from you "I gave her a couple hugs. I hope you are feeling better I worry about you" and I gave some hugs for support" not to be disrespectful son, but what are you trying to accomplish. Do you want to be her friend, have you read Michelle's book, look at the 180 section. It sounds like you have a chance to save your M. Possibly go dark on her, try something, and if that doesn't work try something else but don't put up with her cheating on you and your being so nice to her. She is taking advantage of your good nature. She is a cake eater, she can do what she wants and your friendly to her.
Sorry son, I call it as I see it, I'm not trying to upset you
Karen, hi, how is everything going, I agree, they cannot think of a decent excuse, yes my W doesn't love me either so its ok, NOT - I would have respected her more if she sat down and talked to me about what she was feeling, cheating is one thing and lying is another. Both are unacceptable
So I
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming
M45 W41 M10.75 years D9, D6, D6, S5 OM confirmed 12/07 merry christmas to me WAM (Walk Away Mom) 05/31/08 W files for D 07/18/08 Date I'll forgive W for A = never
Hey everyone, I've been a lurker. Very busy with my job lately. Still hurting. As for the church issue, I see it differently. I see her going to church as a reason to celebrate. It's really easy to cast the first stone. Jeff, I know you are hurting and you are almost justified to be angry. But you have to be excited that God is working enough in her life to let her go to church. Think of all of the crap about belitting marriage she hears daily from all of the people who rationalize her decisions. For an hour today, she heard the truth in a way that she couldn't deny. We can't judge or doubt God's ways. He has a plan. Deep down, she knows what is right. If the goal of marriage is to get your partner to heaven, then its odd sometimes that the WAS may be helping us do just that. I've never felt God's presence more than in my current anguish. For the first time, I humbly relate to the pain Jesus felt in the Garden when he was betrayed. I feel the pity that Mary must have felt looking at Jesus on the cross. And I have hope that the good of God will prevail in our lives just as we know He does. In an ironic way, our faithfulness and love/tolerance for our WASs might be the only thing keeping them from hell. With my wife, I really wonder who else out there is truly praying for her.
I know that sounds fire and brimstone. But I've just been doing alot of reflection on my own situation lately. What if what happened is because it is what was necessary to turn my life firmly towards Christ? Before I went to mass, acted Catholic. But I also was firmly planted in this world. I struggled mightily with lust (in my own heart), sometimes with alcohol (not crazy, just drinking more than I needed to) and with just having a huge ego at other times. I knew I wasn't being the guy I was meant to be. About a year ago at this time, I prayed for God to turn my heart from a heart of stone to a heart of flesh. I just never knew this is what it involved. After my D, I still pray for my WAW everyday and focus on trying to forgive her. Its so hard. I am still filled with anger at times. But I know she can't truly be happy and like your's Jeff, they must be so confused, hurting and lonely. I'm moved with pity. As painful as all of this is, there is a feeling of freedom of living in the light. I barely hide anything about my life lately. I know I still sin and I'm far from perfect. But I am living the best life I can after I've been busted down a few rungs. I'm not ashamed of how I'm living anymore. Hurting--OH, yeah am I ever. Living in shame? No...
On another Catholic issue, I'm still not sold on an annulment for me. I'd love to be able to move on and experience the beauty of marriage again. I really loved being married and didn't appreciate it as much as I should have. But I keep having this nagging feeling to be faithful to my covenant. I know it sounds crazy but I see how God was faithful to Israel and even called it his adulterous bride...interesting. I wish my wife would turn from lovers that "won't satisfy" like I can within a holy christian marriage. The whole "one body" part of marriage still gets me. I feel the pain as if my shoulder was ripped off. In short, I miss her. And I pray for her. I'd love to one day have my marriage restored as hopeless as it seems.
Just my late night 2 cents. I didn't mean to get overly spiritual or offend anyone. I hope everyone is doing well. Germ
