Buster, that's an intensely personal decision, and no one on here can answer it for you. Do you still consider yourself married? Are you still committed to trying with her, if she'll turn away from what she's doing and work on the marriage with you? If so, then you should probably keep wearing it.
I personally wore mine long after my wife took hers off, and only took mine off once I filed for divorce. We both put them back on when she ended her affair, and we put the divorce action on a 3-month "stay," and they've stayed on ever since.
I will also say that lawyers like you to continue to wear them, and mine made a note of when my wife took hers off.
I agree with Puppy. It's only a decision you can make. I had the same question. My H would take his off and then put it back on. He quit wearing his back in Nov. (I think-I'd have to look at my posts). I stopped wearing mine in Mid-March. Very hard for me to do, but for me, there was just something that hit me and made me realize that it was no longer the symbol it was meant to be for me. I had a habit of rubbing the underside of my ring with my thumb. I even found myself doing it today...well, rubbing my ring finger. It took my H a few months to comment to me. He said something about not wearing my "shackles" anymore. I swore I would wear mine until the day I was pronounced D'd by the courts. Personally though, I just couldn't do it any more.
Sorry for the long post just to agree with Puppy.
Take Care- SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
well I am still committed to my wife, whether she comes back or not, and besides my ring is too darn cool to take off anyway W quit wearing hers in the beginning of june. told W I was going to see the Phillies tonight, and she asked if I was going alone.:) talk about snooping around lol.
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
told W I was going to see the Phillies tonight, and she asked if I was going alone.:) talk about snooping around lol.
I love going to baseball games. We went to a lot of Cubs games when we lived in Chicago and went to games where ever we traveled. Have a great time!
I understand about the snooping! Mine still does it....where were you, what took you so long...etc. Says he wants out, but doesn't want to lose that control I guess.
Have a great weekend.
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
I really can't begin to imagine how hard it would be to be married for years and years like everyone here....I haven't even been married 2 years. Of course from W's perspective we rushed into it. She has a commitment problem (so she says). she didn't have trouble committing to an ex boyfriend while we were together though !
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
Sure, some of us have been married or together a long time, but I don't think it makes a difference in how we feel. We all go through the same emotions of hurt, loss of trust...etc. I hope you don't feel like you're not entitled to the same feelings because you certainly are. Someone mentioned once that they couldn't imagine how it is to go through it with kids in the picture. I've gone through it now as a mom and previously without a child. Yes you hurt for your children, but trust me, it doesn't feel any different either way. It's still very, very painful.
Have a good one!
SueS
ME: 42, H: 42, D6 Together: 18 yrs. Married: 15 yrs. Attended Retrouvaille - December 2009 Status: Working on it day by day
My wife is only 22. Every boyfriend she's had she has always come back to me. Well to be honest every guy she's dated she has kissed me on the side. Maybe now that she's been with me and we got married and had a son it's over ? Hope not. I miss her so
2. Your relationship with your wife is over when YOU say it is over ----MarkF
W quit wearing hers in the beginning of june. told W I was going to see the Phillies tonight, and she asked if I was going alone.:) talk about snooping around lol.