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Hey TMW!

How's your weekend? Finally watched the movie, "The Secret." I have to admit it's working already. wink

Have you seen it?

You and I have been at this a long time. Our lives are meant to be wonderful!

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Randomly checked back.
Things working better with BF.
Grandma now moved up to OH from TN, living with mom for now.
My grandfather on dad's side passed away.


Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
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Sorry to hear about your grandfather...life itself is it's own rollercoaster, isn't it?

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Enter any contests lately? I want you to win a vacation, but take me instead of your bf! lol

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Yes, I've been entering contests - no big winnings.

I realized today walking to the bus stop for work that I didn't even think that it was July, it was around THAT time of the month.
No, not talking ovaries, talking about the time 4 years ago when my....whatever you want to call it....all started.
In previous years I remembered "on this date we seperated, on this date this or that".

I see this as a good sign. I know the dates if I think really hard, but that's just it - it's not fresh in my mind. I know certain dates will be there longer, maybe forever. Those are certain dates I know to schedule activities or just schedule to be alone and reflective depending on my mood.

In a possible bad turn of thoughts I realized that after 4 years I still have more good memories than bad, not that I ever had bad memories. Of course the painful, hurtful words said during the D will be a scar on my heart...possibly forever. But it's ok. I've learned and grown. In a sentimental moment I realized I don't remember his smell or the look in his eyes. The sound of his first name still causes a stir in me, even if I know it's someone else.


I don't know. Just sort of babbling out some thoughts that occured today. This is really the only appropriate place I could think of to release them, since I don't keep a journal or anything.

I definately am in a different place than I planned, and I know it's not a bad thing.



My friend, I think I mentioned her a couple months ago - she has 4 youngings and she was pondering D, but reconsidered. Well, she asked for the name/number of a lawyer. Her H is seemingly blindsided. I feel awful for them. I know the heartache, the betrayal. I only pray they can find their way through, one way or another.

There is a woman I work with. Her son is going through a D. She confided to me that she was sucidial over his D. I'm not a parent, and even parents that I've talked to thought this was a bit extreme. I told her about this website and I even gave her my copy of the book that I thinks he sent him.



O - I forgot to mention with other things going on that my dad got married, for the 3rd time. Both parents on #3. WOW. And I'm working on our family tree and apparently 3 marriages is not uncommon. frown Hope I can break the cycle.


I am finding information on programs that may help me fix up my house smile




Those are just about all of my random thoughts, ideas, emotions for the time being. Hope anyone reading this is well.


Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
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How are things TMW?


Me 54
DS19 and DS17
Married 06/1989
Divorced 01/2011
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Things are hectic. Today was a down today - I woke up feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. I woke up with the alarm and I started crying.

My kitchen ceiling came crashing down. So I'm working on gaining funding for that. Finding out my house is a lemon.

Things with BF haven't been the greatest. I'm demanding more, better for myself. I put too much out and not getting enough in return and I'm putting my foot down about it.
Before anyone jumps in with excitement - it's not over. At least not yet. We've been together for about 4 years now. We live together. I'm not a walk away type of person. But I'm also no push over, simpleton or anything of the like.


My grandma is in a nursing home - loads of drama there.

No big winnings to report. I'm entering tons of contests though.

Work is going well. Very well actually. Lots of work, lots of responsibility.

I recently got to have a series of spa/salon treatments from a certificate BF got me I think for Valentine's day. Massage, hair, pedicure, facial. It was great.


Hope everyone out there is doing alright.


Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
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Not sure if anyone will read this. This was a neutral somewhat annonymous site that I can post and vent and whatever.
I already know what some people from the past here would say to what I'm about to post - but I don't care. This is my place to get it out.


BF has done a lot wrong over the years that, given what I went through with my D, had made me insecure.

Long story short - last night I found that he has a new "friend". Last Saturday he was supposed to be with a friend out of state (this is a mutual friend who SWEARS BF was with him). Last Saturday there are 19 texts between him and his new "friend". He says this person is someone from his bank that sends him jokes.

I called the number, the girl was ok at first - at least acted like she didn't know BF's name. Then suddenly hung up. According to our online account, she then text him 4 times.

He swore to my mom and his mom that he isn't cheating.

What else am I led to believe?

He is secretive and noncommunicative. His current and previous actions have led to distrust.

After 4 years, it sure has hell seems like enough is enough.


Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
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TMW, you know in your heart what is going on. The question is are you going to accept it?

I am so sorry about this.


Me 54
DS19 and DS17
Married 06/1989
Divorced 01/2011
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Even if she and he are telling the truth, to me, 22 texts back and forth in a 6 hour timeframe is a bit extreme. (10 he recieved, 12 he sent)
If he was truly responding to message she sent #1 he wouldn't have sent her a message. #2 there would be equal amounts of sending & recieving.


Another reason I posted here, is because I know that most people on this board know what I went through, what I'm going through. You know the insecurities, you might be able to understand my paranoia as BF calls it.

I told my friend last night, not counting anything from my past - just looking at this isolated incident; and I'll put this out there as sort of a poll:

22 messages back and forth in 1 day from your significant other to someone of the opposite sex on a day when the SO is supposed to be with one of their friends. What would you think?


Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
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