I can see myself falling into high expectations for my next R. But I need to realize not every R is destined for M. I agree, it's not quitting to realize that while still dating. But after you've made the commitment to M, it is completely different. But better to be honest with yourself and your SO now. It's called courage and honesty.
Me45 W35 M6 T8 D16 SD11 D0 Dec 07: Bomb July 08: Busted! Thread
I understand what you are saying, and that you don't want to hurt someone else the way that X hurt you. But BH and Trip are right, this is NOT the same situation.
You've learned and grown a lot through the DBing process, and one of the most important things you have learned is to take care of your own happiness first. There's a terrific guy out there that WILL ring all your bells, and vice versa - give yourself permission to take it slow and find him!
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
well I see the comedy club was in full force today while I was at work thanks for the laugh guys! soo x and OW have been on my brain almost everyday latley. I dont know why and I hate it!!! when will it end. on an other note... I have done alot of soul searching about something . I feel I need to break it off with the guy I have been seeing, He is nice, big heart, loves me to pieces ..... but I dont feel for him the way he feels for me. I am unhappy more than I am happy. It kills me to say this. I am trying so hard to make it work because I dont want to just walk away. I dont want to be like my X. I just don't k now how much longer to hang on and hope it gets better. I want someone who understands what I have gone through instead of telling me to be strong and forget about all the hurt I have gone through with my X. Maybe I am just to picky...Maybe I am just destined to be alone...
Awww, (((Shoe))), this made me sad. If you're unhappy with this guy more than happy, then he's not the right guy for you. Definitely, break it off because you deserve someone that makes your heart sing!!! And....it's not quitting. It's making a choice. Just because he loves you does not mean that you "have" to be with him. There will be others who will fall in love with you and one of them may even inspire those feelings in you. Thing is, "you" get to pick!!!
looking at this from just a bit different angle.... do you think he may possibly feel helpless as to how to walk thru those feelings with you and in an attempt to strengthen you will say the things he does???? Just a thought.... may be worth exploring anyway...
If he is an otherwise great guy who 'loves you to pieces' and there is just a communication block that can be worked thru.... it'd be a shame to let that be the reason for a split.
In the end, you know your heart... if the feelings and the interests are just not there for you then it is only fair that you cut him loose now and spare either of you anguish further down the road.
don't fret... just be realistic.
Psa 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.
It is awful here. 111 with humidity and smoke in the air from all the fires in California.Those poor fireman must be miserable thanks Trip, BH, gforce, qoe100, Rob and lnd, nice point lnd , I know he has been hurt in the past and he does not bring it up, he says past is past and no sence rehashing it. Maybe hearing my pain makes him think about what he has gone through and he does not like to have the hurt resurface. who knows. Men... can't live with em.. can't live without em
found out about affair 8/06 H moves out Nov/06 D final 8/07 X re marries OW 5/08 _________________________ Courage does not always roar, sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying... " I will try again tomorrow". -- Mary Anne Radmacher
Hi Trip high 90's here but better than the record of 112 last week.
found out about affair 8/06 H moves out Nov/06 D final 8/07 X re marries OW 5/08 _________________________ Courage does not always roar, sometimes it is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying... " I will try again tomorrow". -- Mary Anne Radmacher
Shoe-- Just caught up with you; sorry that your thoughts keep leading you back to the mess. Surprised you have any thoughts at all, with the heat being brain-melting.
Getting back to some basics...you using the stop sign, distracting with a list of fun-for-you stuff that you keep putting off, focusing on where you are right this second, writing a gratitude list...? If not, time to dust off the tried and true. But also know that the rollercoaster of emotions is still going to throw you some curves every now and again...all normal.
My x got a dog soon after the sep, too (then had to get rid of the poor thing, since he was never home and it was in a crate all day long, going stir-crazy--another instance of not thinking a damn thing through the consequences).
I remember you trying to keep the pups...I know that must be hard, too.
I am glad you are posting; not sure why you thought your issues might not be welcomed here...? Seems like it is all part of the process. Can't give too much advice about the dating thing, but I do agree that it is not a commitment, yet...maybe a break while you finish processing things on your own?
thanks for the laugh guys! soo x and OW have been on my brain almost everyday latley. I dont know why and I hate it!!! when will it end. on an other note... I have done alot of soul searching about something . I feel I need to break it off with the guy I have been seeing, He is nice, big heart, loves me to pieces ..... but I dont feel for him the way he feels for me. I am unhappy more than I am happy. It kills me to say this. I am trying so hard to make it work because I dont want to just walk away. I dont want to be like my X. I just don't k now how much longer to hang on and hope it gets better. 
thanks Trip, BH, gforce, qoe100, Rob and lnd,
