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A Message from Michele
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All Things Work Together for Good...16 #1501954
07/01/08 11:18 PM
07/01/08 11:18 PM
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 4,511
SoCal
Committed2Him Offline OP
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Committed2Him  Offline OP
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 4,511
SoCal

Summary: (Note: this summary was written 4/8/07 and has pretty much remained the same since then. My confidence that God would work things out for His good have simply been confirmed over and over again)

M 16.5
S 14, D 17 (live with mom); SS 25 (lives with me)

11/05 - X files \:\(
7/06 - X moved out with kids (I offered X the house but she declined so I bought her out. Immediately OM is in the picture continuously at her new place)
10/17/06 - D final
5/07 - X Marries OM
11/07 - Arrange face to face with Mr. X (formerly OM) to forgive him. \:\)

The marriage was rocky for over 10 years. X had an affair with a different OM around 98/99. We separated for 6 months from 6/99 to 12/99 (I moved because of her hysterics and volatility) but got back together. After X moved this time, I attempted to "stand" for the marriage but since coming back to the board in 8/06, I slowly moved from vigorously standing, to remaining open to reconciliation to deciding that I would not reconcile. X getting married closed the door on reconciliation for good.

X and I have been Christians since before we started dating, X has asserted that God has given her permission to D and has paved her way to be with OM who is not a Christian (uh, yeah, that sounds like a message straight from the throne room of God).

My title comes from the Bible verse:
Quote:
Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

I own my part in the demise of marriage but I believe my X had no grounds for divorce according to our professed faith and the teachings we held from the Bible. Yet, I still maintain that God will use this situation to work for His greater good.

Getting A Life
The transition from being devastated at the realization that OM was not "Just a friend," to "Standing for the marriage" to "Getting A Life" and finally deciding I would not take X back has been an extremely challenging journey but God has provided the people, resources and total support that I needed (including the people in this forum) every time and always right on time. My life has become increasingly full, an amazing adventure with blessing after blessing after blessing.

Gracias, Multumesc, Yo, Toda, Thank You, Mahalo...Gracias!
A huge "thank you" goes out to Michele for making this forum available for us DBers who tried and yet still wound up in this forum. An equally huge "thank you" goes out to the people in this forum who lend an ear, offer sage advice or a shoulder (or thread) to cry on. There have been plenty of very challenging times I have had to go through to this point and this forum and the people in it have helped immeasurably in bringing healing.

The "Thank you" line? Places I've gone (or going to) since X left: Mexico, Romania, New York, Israel, Washington D.C., Hawaii...Spain (Nov/Dec)


Committed2Him- "C2H"
All Things (Back from Spain!)...18
Re: All Things Work Together for Good...16 [Re: Committed2Him] #1501955
07/01/08 11:19 PM
07/01/08 11:19 PM
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 4,511
SoCal
Committed2Him Offline OP
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Committed2Him  Offline OP
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 4,511
SoCal
So what to post?

Well my weekend was great, my Monday night men's group was great, work is great and my life is great! Is it perfect? Heck no. I am still going to lose my house, and I still get tweaked periodically when I miss my kids but I, like most of us here, am making the best of a less than ideal situation.


Romantic interests?
And my social life? I have many who really, really care for me and some who deeply love me. Unfortunately, they are men from church, LOL! Boy am I going to be good at intimacy when I finally find a woman who will take me because we guys are learning to be in touch with our feminine side. We talk about our feelings, emotions, our hopes and dreams like it is the View or some chick flick \:D I am thinking of planning a guys night out to go see Sex in the City

I AM READY!
For what? I think I am ready for the right woman was to walk into my life. I do not NEED to have someone in my life in order to feel complete but if she did, I would be ready to move forward! Why do I think I am ready? It is not anything scientific but here are some thoughts:

My kids are well adjusted and know they are my priority but I sense they would understand if someone were to become a part of my life

I do not dwell on what my X is up to and regularly pray for her and Mr. X

I am content in my singleness and will not give it up just to have a companion, it has to be a real keeper (I may be alone but I am not lonely except for occasional, rare lapses)

I feel like the healing has really, really taken place.

Prospects?
So I have been noticing a few more available women at my church and have had some casual conversations here and there. In the church context, I would really have to feel that God was pulling me towards someone and visa versa before really exploring some one on one time to even do something as innocent as coffee. I have known one woman for two years and have been pondering the possibilities. Another, I know less well but she will also be going to Spain so I will be seeing more of her between now and then.

Office Delivery - Yesterday another woman came to see me at my office. She had a certain aura to her, a classy but approachable attractiveness. We met for an hour for business purposes which included me getting to know about her future aspirations hopes and dreams. Heck it was almost like being on a date except I'm getting paid for it... WAIT, WHAT DOES THAT MAKE ME? \:o LOL!

My point is that I believe I am ready but I'm taking it a day at a time and I am praying for my future partner, right where she is, that God continues to prepare her and minsister to her for when we eventually get together.

I love my life!

George \:D


Committed2Him- "C2H"
All Things (Back from Spain!)...18
Re: All Things Work Together for Good...16 [Re: Committed2Him] #1502254
07/02/08 03:23 AM
07/02/08 03:23 AM
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,246
Ky
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lost-n-found Offline
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Ky
YIPPIE!!!!! I'm first... what are you serving at the bar tonight? How 'bout a virgin daquari.... strawberry if ya got it..please sir?

well C2 I gotta hand it to you.... you have gotten hold of every aspect of this GAL technique. You really do sound happy and healthy both physically and mentally... so yeah... for what it's worth you do seem ready... to me anyway. You go big boy.... I'm very happy for ya!!!!


Psa 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.
Re: All Things Work Together for Good...16 [Re: Committed2Him] #1502337
07/02/08 05:06 AM
07/02/08 05:06 AM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 133
FL
D
drbty Offline
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Good for you 'George'.

"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear"?? or something along those lines.

Pretty soon, you're going to be lamenting the fact that there are so many beautiful women in your life you just don't know which one to choose.


-db

Re: All Things Work Together for Good...16 [Re: Committed2Him] #1502344
07/02/08 05:22 AM
07/02/08 05:22 AM
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 4,054
So Cal
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KarenMarieS Offline
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Quote:
For what? I think I am ready for the right woman was to walk into my life.


And here I am...TAKEN! dang! lol
C2, I tell you, that is going to be one lucky woman, you are a prize for sure! I love you like a brother, or cousin, or fellow Cali surfer dude bro

Love your outlook on life , you are so positive and uplifting
I am flattered to be your "imaginary friend" lol


Be Happy for this Moment,
This Moment is your Life


Re: All Things Work Together for Good...16 [Re: KarenMarieS] #1502383
07/02/08 09:15 AM
07/02/08 09:15 AM
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 4,511
SoCal
Committed2Him Offline OP
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Committed2Him  Offline OP
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lnf, Stawberry virgin daquari it is \:\)

Yep, you've got this DBing thing down and then... you don't. I was listening to some of my old music, particularly Chaka Khan, man can she sing. I decide to look her up on YouTube and enjoy and marvel at her performances. \:D Then I had the urge to listen to Luther Vandross, what a singer he was! As I listen to a couple of songs, I thought back to a couple of his concerts that I took X to and then I just got about the loss of the marriage. \:\( I also shed a tear for X for her choices. You reap what you sew and she will or is going to have to deal with the consequences of her actions. \:\(

We control our feelings
I chose to stop the video! I then played some music from my praise and worship collection snd it refocused my thoughts. I fell into a mode of worship and appreciation for what God has done in my life. \:D The funk passed (Of course the whole thing started with my desire to hear a song from back in my college days called "Funkin' for Jamaica." I learned how to rollerskate to songs like this during that era and it was fun and funky!
Gotta be careful because even a good funk and end up a sad funk!)

DB,

hmmm maybe it was you posting to me that got me sad LOL \:D Soooo glad to see you.

Quote:
"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear"?? or something along those lines.
Sounds good to me!

Quote:
so many beautiful women in your life you just don't know which one to choose..
I could deal with that problem. Of ocourse beautiful on INSIDE is what I need, plus some chemistry/attraction).

Awwwe Karen, love ya too you "little surfer girl!" (Yep, B got there a little too fast! Rats). I know you're gonna be excited for me when I let ya all know when I actually do find that match. \:\)


Committed2Him- "C2H"
All Things (Back from Spain!)...18
Re: All Things Work Together for Good...16 [Re: Committed2Him] #1502432
07/02/08 11:29 AM
07/02/08 11:29 AM
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 6,901
MICHIGAN
qoe100 Offline
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Hi George!!!

You sound awesome as usual!!!

Re: All Things Work Together for Good...16 [Re: Committed2Him] #1502638
07/02/08 02:57 PM
07/02/08 02:57 PM
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 4,054
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KarenMarieS Offline
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Quote:
Awwwe Karen, love ya too you "little surfer girl


hahaha yea right. Pier 13 HB, nachos w REAL cheese from the snack bar, stoppin off at Jack in the Box for a burger or taco for the drive home down Beach.
Seeing friends on the way coming home, cute guys in their VW vans or ghias surfboards on top.
getting home to shower and get ready for a crankin party that night- all burned and looking gooood in your dittos and tube tops

Oh yea, I wanna go back to that somedays, simpler times lol

Stay cool C2!!


Be Happy for this Moment,
This Moment is your Life


Re: All Things Work Together for Good...16 [Re: qoe100] #1502658
07/02/08 03:08 PM
07/02/08 03:08 PM
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 4,511
SoCal
Committed2Him Offline OP
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Committed2Him  Offline OP
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 4,511
SoCal
Jillybean,

I was thinking about you yesterday. Continuing in my prayers for you and your family.


Things always seem more positive in the morning. I did go to bed with a postive outlook and know I will have an awesome day!!!

Bball with son last night
If it is Tuesday night, my boy and I are playing ball. Tueday the old guys play so only got to play towards the end of the evening but he shoots the basked the rest of the time.

This time I was smart and we stayed on the same team. NOBODY on the other team wanted to guard him because they did not want to chase him around! LOL \:D . He played well again and it brings a smile to my face that he made the guy who was guarding him look bad a few times.

Rejecting the "little man's shot!!!!"
Again he took off running down court and we tossed him the ball for a fast break lay up EXCEPT a player from the other team, an athletic good player about 25 years old, was catching up to him. The defender timed his jump from behind to swat my son't shot down and make him look silly. (poor son, never saw it coming)

NOT! So the defender saw my son motion the ball up like he was about to do a lay up which is why The defender is now flying through the air but son never left his feet and basically had "stopped on a dime" waiting for who ever was chasing him to fly by LOL!!! The defender does fly by son and when the guy is landing, out of bounds, embarrassed, son is now standing under the basket all by himself and banks the ball up and in the hoop. \:D

Everybody saw it and chuckled as the defender eventually comes back down the court, having just been embarrassed by a little 14 year old kid.

PRICELESS!

Exploring the possibilities?
I called the woman who came in my office yesterday to talk business. She is a potential customer with a couple of other options so it was a legitimate call and I share some relevant business information. She was a pleasant conversation and I found out she is quick and funny. The call was appropriate but I probably won't have cause to speak with her until next week but I am looking forward to future conversations.

I know or know of the women at church and it is fairly easy to ask about them. In this case, I would have to explore things in differently and, gulp, maybe even have to go out on a "coffee date" or something? eek

It is an intriguing thought, we shall see

Have a great day!!

I plan on making it a great day! (if I get lemons, I'll make lemonade)

George \:\)


Committed2Him- "C2H"
All Things (Back from Spain!)...18
Re: All Things Work Together for Good...16 [Re: Committed2Him] #1502666
07/02/08 03:10 PM
07/02/08 03:10 PM
Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 4,511
SoCal
Committed2Him Offline OP
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Committed2Him  Offline OP
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 4,511
SoCal
Karen,

Did your daddy ever have to "take your T-bird away?" Simpler times, yep!

Have blessed day.
\:\)


Committed2Him- "C2H"
All Things (Back from Spain!)...18
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