Not much new to report. Still pretty sad over that race driver. I tend to obsess over stuff like this and read every little detail I can find. Our company lost some people including a guy who had done some training at my office in the World Trade Center on 9/11. To this day I am fascinated with stories about that. Anyway I read way too many details about this poor driver... the only 180 there is I'm not sharing everything with H. I obsess more about their life than about what happened at the end. Maybe another way of facing mortality eh? My bro become totally engrossed in geneology after my grandma died - different but similar, I guess.
H called after work to see how my day was and let me know his plans for the night (doing a bunch of side work to make money for the racing). He hasn't called in ages just to see how my day was - that felt really good.
Also told me that the SWAT team came and arrested a guy from his work today! WTF! He said "Well I know he's been separated and having problems with his W, maybe that's what it was about." Ummm.. they don't send the SWAT team (undercover no less) out for that. This guy's gone out with us to photograph the races a few times, seemed like a really nice guy. No one has any clue what it's for. H brings up bad sep/D situations somewhat often though. He used to bring them up as if they were positive. I guess that's good that it's negative now right?
He's been more positive in general lately too - really focused on the racing and how to get things going with that. And when he for example fixes something and I thank him he'll say "You just didn't know I was that good, did ya?" (not cocky though, just in a cute tone). Far better than his really down days.
As for me... back to the grind at work! I'm trying to kick butt on my project the next couple of days so I can ask for that week off in June and get it. Also planning to go out with some friends tomorrow night for happy hour, so that'll be fun. I missed my "GAL'ing" things for a few weeks (I promised myself one meetup or other friends get together once a week). Glad to get back to that.
OK that was a totally jumbled post just wanted to get #27 started.
Thanks all as always for the support!! Much appreciated.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Had to go back and re-read who had posted before my thread locked. Specifically Jak, H, and Michelle - thank you. Yes, that mortality thing has been coming up a lot lately for me. Makes you think in a whole lot of different ways.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Hiya Miss Nik. I just wanted to say that I continue to watch your thread. Since you're "ahead" of me, I don't feel like I have much to offer- but please do know that I follow your thread. That is so sad about the racing guy, but I am pleased that he was in his twilight years. And how odd about the SWAT team.
Most of all- I'm so happy for your continued progress with your H.
Me-43 H-46 M 12 yrs 7/09 T 15 2 grown kids bomb 7/05/07 H moved out 8/04/07 11/22/09 told him I quit;let's get ball rolling Mid Dec- he isn't sure he wants D End 2/2010-Starting to consider piecing
Hi Nik, Just wanted to see how you were doing - strong as ever it seems. Thanks for checking in on me and your words of wisdom always help put my focus back where it needs to be.
- B
M 5yrs 1st baby-girl born 6/18/08 Bomb: 10/13/07 OW - I was 6wks Prego H Moved in w/OW: 11/2/07 D Final 07/10 OW had his baby 3/17/09-so her Me, now - happier than I ever was with him
Hi Nik, Hope you have been kicking but so that you can gert the time off you want. How are things going with you, and how is H doing with all that has happened? Hope you kick arse today.
JAK
You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez
Doing pretty well. Fingers crossed on the time off - my boss is out til Tuesday so I'll find out then.
Jak - I'm doing good.
H is not talking much about it but I know the accident(s) are messing with his head a lot. The guy on Saturday there's some peace in knowing he was older. I forget if I mentioned there was a similar wreck on Sunday too. We had thought that guy was OK - but apparently not, he has a pretty serious spinal cord injury. H was very upset about that one last night. He'll recover but it's going to be a long hard road, it sounded like. He didn't talk much about his feelings on it but he talked for a long time about how he thinks the track should be redesigned to make it safer. I think that's the "guy" way to deal right? Figure out how to "fix" it?
Then said he wants to win the lotto and build his own track. I know it's a little thing but when he used to say stuff like this, it wasn't "we" at all. It kinda made me feel like if we had more $$, we'd be D'd. This time he talked about "us" owning a track and how cool it would be.
Yesterday he sent me a text too - "Hope you have a great day beautiful" with a smiley. I called him around lunch time to confirm the vacation dates to request and he was all excited, "Did you get my text?" I NEVER text so I honestly don't look at my phone much - I hadn't seen it yet but read it then and said "awww thank you so much! You are so sweet." He was glad I liked it.
I think this may be a 180 I should try... texting. I really, really despise texting - but when I think it through it's not really logical. It's because texting reminds me of when H's whole behavior changes started, and it's how he mostly communicated with OW. Sooo.. might be time to suck it up and try to let that go, and see if little texts during the day get a good response. Clearly it's a way he likes communicating now so might be worth a try.
Happy Friday all!!
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
Yep, texting's great. Not as much commitment as calling, don't have to make small talk, etc. Sounds like your H will really like that 180, and if you check your phone more often. Keep it up!
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
I think this may be a 180 I should try... texting. I really, really despise texting - but when I think it through it's not really logical. It's because texting reminds me of when H's whole behavior changes started, and it's how he mostly communicated with OW. Sooo.. might be time to suck it up and try to let that go, and see if little texts during the day get a good response. Clearly it's a way he likes communicating now so might be worth a try.
Lurker here. I DESPISE texting too. It was main communication for H and OW too. Before she came along I bet he hadn't sent 2 texts in his whole life. I have jumped on the bandwagon and have actually liked receiving texts throughout the day from H.
It is nice because I don't always have the time or am not in a good place to make or take a personal phone call at work.....but I can always send a little text or recieve one. I have found myself looking forward to them. Maybe you should try it.
WTF! He said "Well I know he's been separated and having problems with his W, maybe that's what it was about." Ummm.. they don't send the SWAT team (undercover no less) out for that. This guy's gone out with us to photograph the races a few times, seemed like a really nice guy. No one has any clue what it's for. H brings up bad sep/D situations somewhat often though. He used to bring them up as if they were positive. I guess that's good that it's negative now right? 
Also planning to go out with some friends tomorrow night for happy hour, so that'll be fun. I missed my "GAL'ing" things for a few weeks (I promised myself one meetup or other friends get together once a week). Glad to get back to that. 
just wanted to get #27 started. 
