this maryangela -thread 3 -- he's gone

[spark]

bomb dropped end of feb, i don't love you, no , there is no affair,etc. he was lying. there is an affair and it's in full swing.

he is moving out on monday. at first I felt relieved, but today I just feel SO SAD. I really need guidance here.

[spark]

bump

[Trip]

Going to look at your old threads, okay? I will post after reading them.

[NikB]

(((Mary)))

Keep re-reading all our old posts to you. The advice is EXACTLY the same now as it was a week or few weeks ago. Honestly, I could cut and paste them - the advice is the same.

Detach
Focus on you
Take care of you
GAL
Do a 180 (or several) - what's something positive and different you can do for yourself?

I know we got into more detail before. I'm still dealing with a ton of stuff at home so I don't have a lot of time to post but I hope you'll go re-read our old posts to you. Keep reading them. It even helps to take notes on things that really "speak" to you or help you have an "ah ha" moment (and those things will change over time so it really does help to re-read things even weeks later).

[Trip]

Exactly what NikB says. Reread your old threads. Great advice there and also, you yourself posted some good things.

Focus on the positive stuff. What has worked for you in keeping yourself up and such.

Set some goals, break them down into steps. Go over them again and again if you have to.

[spark]

I'm scared financially, emotionally, everything. he'll pay the mortgage and all that, but I'm basically a stay at home mom and there are bills that have to be paid THIS WEEK and he's acting like it's not his problem.

Also, I feel like I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life. I want to die

[NikB]

(((Mary)))

What are you going to do for yourself today? You need to do something to pull yourself out of this.

If you are serious about the "I want to die" PLEASE call for help and do it now. Your fears are totally normal, but they are also irrational because of all the stress you are under. If you can't calm yourself down on your own, please call for help. It's not a sign of weakness, it's doing what you need to do for yourself.

(A little backstory - early in my sitch I had an anxiety attack in a hair salon. I was taken to the hospital by ambulance - I didn't know what it was and actually thought that I was dying. I wish I had called for help before it got that far. So please take care of yourself.)

[spark]

I have no one to talk to - I'm alone. I can't go on nik

[cw68]

maryangela, who can you call for help? reach out. If you are serious about not going on, you need to call a suicide hotline

[spark]

there's no one to call. I'm alone here. he took d to grandma's. I can't keep calling my friends, they're sick of it. I keep looking at everything in this house and it all reminds me of him.

I don't see a future for me.