hey all.. I gotta take some time away from here. Getting too caught up in the many dramas.... LOL
Question for ya.,.. we are getting along... never any ILYs... renos are coming along.
So... 19th anniversary in 7 days. Last year... he acknowledged but did nothing. "Today's our anniversary!" "Yes it is" said I. whoopee... that's as exciting as it got.
I am tired of always initiating and getting nothing... so talk about your low expectations.
I am just really in a quandry about how to or what to do to "celebrate" For me, it's a surprise we even got THIS far.... after the rough couple of years we've had. So.... I am mulling but can't come up with any great but low expectation ideas....
Our anniversary is this Sunday. We have a clown gig on Sat then will go to a nice motel that evening. I have no idea how to commemorate this day. Mentioned something to Sage but won't post about it unless we actually do it.
Hope you figure out something. Please don't leave the boards. . .please.
Tree-What would he do if you had a candle light dinner for him? Would it freak him out? I don't know much about your present sitch. It would show him it is special to you, and he just might enjoy it. Only probelm is that entails you having to do akll the work-I've got it! Order take out, bring it home and do the candlelight thing and rent a love story Movie. Not TOO mushy. I've been thinking about renting Fatal Attraction myself and popping it in and watching H reactions! Happy Anniversary-let us know what you came up with. Keep posting-we need your humor! Rachael M.
I looked into taking a hot air balloon ride. Our 10th anniversary coming up in about 2 weeks and it's a tough day for yuky historical reasons. I thought we could do something to leave it all behind and the balloon and throwing some finely shreded writings of the bad stuff and saying some good stuff might help. H said he doesn't like "rituals". Maybe I'll go to a cliff I know on the day and do this by myself. Last time we were there I had an impulse to push him off! There was absolutely no danger of acting on it but it was awful that a thought like that could even go through my mind. I've come a long way since those days thank goodness!
H has taken off a couple days after the big day but with the house we'll need to keep it cheap so the baloon is out.
Three years ago we talked about renewing our vows on our tenth but doesn't look like anything like that will happen. Guess I should take the initiative to arrange something happy. I can do it!!!!! 2L
Hi Tree long time eh? Reno's contributed to my sitch Im sure, but it sounds like you got a handle on it. Anniversary coming eh? Would a 180 be to not acknowledge yourself. Sounds like H is seemingly content. Whats with that? How can you make him not content? Are you prepared? When we slip into the comfort zones we can go on for years and years and not even realize where we are. I dangerously have been spending a generous amount of time with an old friend and it has certainly peaked some interest in W. I have found that through all of this I am starving for some companionship. We are talking 12 May or so without a adult in my life. The girls continue to react as young children do and W sees the results but is still in blame mode. As far as I am concerned I have to let her stay there as long as she needs. But remember the cliche...when we point one finger at someone else three are pointing at our self.
Just stoping by to let you know I've printed out all of your threads and reading them like a book. I should be done soon. Your a great lady! Thank you so much for all of your great advice and support.
Wow, I'm impressed with your thinking, will take a page out of your book.
I relate -- my H and I are working on repairs, too -- and I amaze myself because forbearance is now in my repertoire. I'm not "fixing" things or "cleaning things up" or "jumping up" these days.
For example, my H just walked in and made lunch for us. We had some nice soup and sandwiches, he put on a new CD, then he reached out and pulled on my hair and pulled me close and kissed me, one of those "hey, how soon do you have to leave?" kisses and one thing led to another and...
Well, those plates with crumbs, empty glasses, soup and tuna cans and bread wrappers are still strewn around. The old me would have leapt up and bustled, or bullied and guilt-tripped him for not.
Instead, here I am savoring an afterglow.
Honestly, who knew? Michele really opened my eyes about how men open up and relate your way after you open up and relate their way.
I'm honestly getting the hang of this "wallpapering" or whatever it is. Sound like you are, too -- good going! Glad I found your post today!
Dar!!! Nice to see you here again.... well.... I am sure there are many "adults" where you are.... but when you say "adult" exactly what do you mean, eh?? So... anniversary... nary a word from either of us, although we did spend a really nice day together... running around looking for bits and pieces for one bathroom and the second starts this weekend.... But.... not a word. I am thinking part of that might be my reaction LAST year... when he said something and I acknowledged.... but I just can't make a fuss and not see a return.... it hurst too much.... even though he appears "engaged" who knows... it's working better.... I see it and feel it.... even in the sack... the style is changing.... I can tell! So.... slowlee slowlee.... sigh...
Bridget... thanks for the encouragement... It's why I keep posting.... if one or two people get something out of what I've been through and what other posters to my thread are teaching me etc, then it's been worth it. Ya done good on your part.... it truly is MUCH easier to just go with the flow than to try and control. It really does.
Tonight... H has gone out to a friend's. He's ben pretty much home all summer and friend's wife is out of town... so he's lettin loose. I told him if he was drinking too much to consider sleeping over there... so he didn't feel he had to drive home... that is sooooo NOT me.... LOL!!!
Should be a nice long weekend... the 14 yr old hormonally hit "me" daughter is gone to a friend's for the weekend... me and the little one ( who is developing her own personal attitude) and perhaps H will go see SPyKids 2 or Lilo and Stitich in between work on bathroom #2.... and perhaps I'll even get some organization work done around here. ( that really means get rid of a whole whack of clutter!)
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