Burying the Past

ANS,
I'm probably not even in a position to speculate about anybody else's relationship. After all, I basically don't have one at the moment. Therefore I wouldn't worry too much about I have to say.

My friend had hypo-thyroid (slowed down) rather than Hyper-thyroid (speeded up). The effects are different.

You're right. You can only work on you. I just hate to see you take everything so personally.
Some stuff your W will just have to figure out on her own. I think things will work out if you can just hang in there.

My H on the other hand, is off in his own little world. Oh well...

Think I'll go take a walk. Bye for now.

rayanne

[ANS]

Thanks again, Rayanne.

I don’t worry about what you have to say, or anyone else. We’re all different. However, that doesn’t mean that I don’t value your advice. You don’t have to be involved in my sitch to have insight into it. That’s the value of this BB, and you’re a valuable friend.

I actually meant hypo rather than hyper. I’ve been doing some reading, and hypo is more common, and fits my W’s symptoms better.

It’s getting hard for me to “hang in there” ( yeah, like you didn’t notice ). The more I read, the more I suspect that W is suffering from some sort of hormonal depletion; whether it be thyroid, adrenals, or whatever. The problem is that I can’t approach her about it because she’ll see it as me wanting to ease my suffering. And it’s true, too. That’s part of it.

Will she figure it out on her own? I don’t know. I think her book is pretty clear that if you have symptoms, you have to tackle your emotional issues. It also seems to be clear that hormonal testing is important, and that if you’re deficient, you should do something about it. Not necessarily HRT, but diet, acupuncture, etc. etc. etc. But, she is tired of doctors. She’s spent a lot of time “being poked and prodded” (emotionally) when looking for help for our handicapped son. I just don’t know if she’d be willing to get poked again.

I think that I’ll have to approach her about it at some point (despite the warnings from Matilda and Lily). But, the way things are at the moment, it’ll have to wait.

Andy

ANS,
One of our fellow DBers just told me I should find myself a 29 year-old. I'm not entirely sure he was joking.

rayanne

[ANS]

Since I’ve been feeling excessively fragile lately (anyone notice?), I’ve been a little more distant from W. It’s easier to avoid the feeling of rejection. So, I may as well let her sleep in (instead of our morning coffee).

She called me at work today. Wish I could say that it was social, but she wanted something. But, I took the opportunity for some chit-chat. She slept well last night. Well enough not to notice that I touched her foot with mine as she slept (no rejection. Wheeeeeeeee). But, she did notice that I left quickly this morning. She thought I was mad at her for something.

Nothing earth shattering about all of this, but at least it shows that she cares about me. It also shows that she’s less defensive. She believed me when I said that I wasn’t mad.

BTW, rayanne. Did I mention that I’m 29? (just kidding)

[matilda]

Andy,

You're a bad, bad boy

You know, you might be on to something. Try a little more distancing, with love of course!!

M

Yeah, but bad boys are kind of interesting.
Sorry ANS, but you already spilled the beans about how old you are.

Your W obviously cares about your feelings. I think things will work themselves out. It seems like there are a lot of those "fragile feelings" around the last couple of days. I've kind of been feeling like that too as have several other people I've talked to.

We must all be due for some better times, huh?
You have a nice evening, okay?

rayanne

[Daisy]

Just dropping by to read your threads, say hi, and many thanks for your help. I appreciate the time you have taken to offer advice. Hope you are having a good day.
Daisy

[ANS]

Been all over the boards today, spouting my usual claptrap about not showcasing your changes. “Eventually your spouse will notice.” Also told someone (sorry, don’t remember who), that it’s OK to mention it, but only occasionally, and after a long period of doing it.

I’ve never been all that secretive about DB. I’ve always told W that I was changing. Trying to be a better father and H. For the kids, for W, and for me. I’ve told her that I had no intention of showcasing the behavioral changes because I know she’d just think they were for show only.

So, I’ve been doing this – sometimes not so successfully – for over a year now.

A year ago, W basically avoided me. From there, she moved to allowing me to do things with her and her friends. She would only deign to be alone with me as a “gift” such as my birthday or X-mas. Roughly once every 6 months.

Last weekend, she mentioned that we might go to a movie (possibly alone). We’ve chatted on MSN a coupla times (initiated by me), and she’s called me at work a few times. Twice today. She’s thinking that maybe we can do the movie thing tonight.

Hmmmmmmmmm….

D’ya think she might be making concessions to me… Not showcasing them… Waiting for me to notice?

I can’t assume this, but wouldn’t it be ironic?

Stranger things have happened.

[matilda]

There is just way too much thinking going on here I know, because I'm guilty of the same thing -- over thinking and over analyzing. Relax. Just be you. Let things happen and see what happens.

Love ya,

M