H and I have been doing much, much better lately. DBing has saved my marriage. I don't think you ever reach a point where you've "arrived" or anything, but I do believe that we are now at a good healing place. We spent the weekend together last week and it felt great...laughing, talking, touching. He's been holding my hand, etc. We get along so much better now.
So my question now, Thursday night there is an event that he wants to go to (car show). Some of his friends will be there and this is the first chance he's had to go to this event. He asked me if I want to go. It really doesn't make much difference to me. I go to car shows with him, but not out of any real enthusiasm for cars. I actually have class (I'm finishing my degree at night) that night, but can get out of it if I need to.
So, should I go with him or go to class? I don't know. I've been afraid of him spending time with his friends and then thinking maybe being single is better than being married. But I also been concerned about him thinking why we always do everything together.
I just can't figure out how to apply DB to this. Any thoughts?
I've been following your story now and think your doing great. As for your dilema, if it were me, I'd go.
Part of my H and I's problem was that I didn't share enough time with him doing the things that he likes. I felt (at the time) that he should be able to go off and do his thing w/friends without worrying about me.
I now know that I should have gone more often. Not because I didn't trust him, but it would have helped us bond more and re-affirmed our friendship.
So, since he asked, i'd go, as long as there isn't any major problems with your class. If he only asked to be nice but didn't really want you to go, he will probably make up excuses why you wouldn't have fun.
Good luck and have fun if you go! K
For in the end we will conserve only what we love. We will love only what we understand. We will understand only what we are taught. - B. Dioum
Thanks Gossamer for the reply. My counselor also said I should go. I guess my hesitation is because I don't want him to think (after being with his friends) that it's better to be single. I also want him to know that it's okay to do things with his friends even though he's married. These too things appear to me to be very closely related. Besides, he does things all the time because I'm in class four nights a week.
Spending time together is not really an issue for us. We do just about everything together as it is. Even this weekend, we'll be at the drag strip at least all day Saturday and probably some either Friday night or Sunday afternoon. So that's why I'm still not sure. Honestly, it will probably come down to how I feel after spending most of the day in the doctor's office.
