I never use a rolled up newspaper and train my dogs with food and praise, all positive reinforcement! Operant conditioning is the thing now. I believe Skinner was the first one to really work on and develope that method.
Yes, I am stronger, it did not kill me and today will pass!
Thanks for stopping by. Reading your flirting thread. Very interesting!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Pam: I'm reading Tx name on your thread again. Does this mean he is STILL in the picture despite his rounds of no shows? Did he ever give you an answer about the truck he is managing to live without and pay insurance on etc? How can he afford the airport parking - its been what? 3 months now - heck - that would be over $1,000!!! No way on Earth anyone would do that.
A little bird (more like a friend of a friend) told me he was a no show again a couple of weeks ago but that you and he are engaged. I can't understand how you can be engaged to someone you've never even met?
I feel like I've missed a lot of pieces in this puzzle.
I only spoke with two people from the bb about Tx and I didn't realize either of them were sharing the information that I was discussing about the situation. I liked still having people I considered friends to discuss some of what was going on, because my 'in life friends' haven't been through what the people on the bb have been through. I should have realized that I put the one person I was talking with in an akward position to discuss with her about what was going on in my life and I should not have done that to her. She was gracious and continued to talk with me but I won't do that to her again. I have written her and apologized for my thoughtlessness.
Actually Tx was coming the day we had the ice storm and his flight was cancelled while he was on the way to the airport. I saw it on DFW's website before he knew it. My boss was so convinced he was going to make it this time he gave me work to take care of ahead of time.
Your infomation isn't quit correct, we are not engaged, we discussed it along with our upcoming plans for before school is out and plans for this summer.
I don't post the pieces of this "puzzle" here anymore because it upsets too many good people. As NH said on his thread about upsetting one person is too much, well here I was upsetting a great many people. Sometimes I leave for days at a time and don't read at all. But so far I always come back and catch up with the people that I'm in the habit of following.
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
Listen, I don't want to sound or be condescending, or anything like that. All I ask is that you be careful. I know you think you are, but you've never laid eyes on this guy apparently. Just be careful. You're a big girl Pam, and you will make your own decisions, but please learn from the past and at the very least listen. We only say things to you because we love you. It's hard for us to stop mothering. We're so hopeless. But we only say what we say because we want what's best for you. I hope you know that. Please, be careful. And please find a place that you will not go with this guy. Reach a point where you know what's best for you. There. I'm done.
On a happier note, the Fed cut interest rates 3/4 of a point today so rates should move downward soon.
Yikes!!! Pam, to be honest, hearing about Tx no longer upsets me. I've accepted that you aren't going to let him go and you aren't going to listen to anyone about what a nut case he is..What I feel, everytime you mention him, is utter disbelief. He certainly is adept at reeling you in no matter what he does.
It's your life and you have to do what you feel is right for you. Unfortunately, you're going to continue on the Tx roller coaster for quite some time, it seems.
I really do want the best for you. You're a good person and deserve to be happy.
Pam: I also think you are a good person. Too good for your own good. So good that someone not so good can see that and use you for it.
If one of us had written the things that you have written - you would KNOW it wasn't right. Why can't you be as kind to yourself as you are to everyone else?
Pam I pled my case to you in private email, so do with it what you want. I am sorry if you think something that was said between us , or if something got misconstrued that we discussed. Wasnt my intent.
Havent and wont tell you what I think you should do about Tx, like I said your a big girl, you are smart, you will do what you will, as would most of us here. You should and you will. and in case you dont speak to me anymore for this misunderstanding , know all I want, like everyone here is for you to be SAFE- just follow the rules we all would follow when meeting someone new, same as I did w/ B the first time we met and Jill did w/ MG - its not an insult to Tx, you are not singling him out, You would and should do this with anyone you dont really know ( and if you havent met, you cant really know, that goes for all our guys)
Stay safe and always let someone know where you are.
Be Happy for this Moment, This Moment is your Life
"If I had it to do over I would try to cut out my feelings and just hire a divorce attorney to protect me. But that wasn't me and sigh..probably still isn't! He just wasn't the moral upstanding person I always thought he was inside. I wonder if it will ever bother him to know his exterior is all fake?"
Pam, this bothered me sweets, I am kind of jumping on the bandwagon here but I try not to. But this engagement thing caught me. When will it stop? In my story I was proposed to, got a ring, lost the stone, found it, never saw the stone or ring again etc. Take care, Wonder
Yes, Tx and I have discussed getting engaged but that is not serious until we spend the time together we have planned on.
He isn't advising me on my house. I have discussed the house some with him because if we were to get married the decisions I am going to make now would affect us both. Houses here aren't selling and this house would likely be around for a good long while before selling.
Hi Happy,
You are so nice. Hugs. Really I do plan to be careful. I have plans for my friends to be around when I meet Tx and during his visit.
I did hear they cut the rates and I hope the mortgage rates follow! What a wild weekend it was in the financial world though!
Hi Jill,
You are a sweetie!
If you all had not shared what you have I wouldn't be so cautious now. Tx says I analyze everything. Well, he is right in regards to him and until he proves himself I will continue to be wary of him and his plans.
I am happy right now. It was so wonderful to go to the cluster shows again and I wandered anywhere I wanted without the thought of seeing J and D even crossing my mind. I didn't realize that till later! I was so glad. It made for a much nicer show.
Barb,
Thank you.
Aren't we always harder on ourselves? I have to see this through. I just don't want to upset you or anyone else here. I really am thanks to all of you being much more cautious!
Karen,
I wasn't upset with you and I'm NOT upset with you in any way, shape or form! I know you are friends with some of the ladies and did not realize the other person was that close to anyone. It was you I felt I had put in the awkward position and I felt that was unfair of me. Obviously I also put the other person in an awkward position as well. My intent was not to do that with anyone! I simply still wanted someone to talk too when the bb was no longer an option. So to me that was my being selfish by asking you and the other party to listen and discuss this subject with me. I truly do apologize to you. It was never my intent to do that to either of you! I know you wish me well. I consider you a friend, one I want very much to meet. I will stay safe and let someone know where I am.
Hi Wonder,
Did you mean the quote of mine about David you posted bothers you? I don't let it bother me often anymore. It was on my mind because Monday was the 5 year anniversary of when D and J filed for their divorces and it is a date I can't easily forget. I was over it by the next day, but yes Monday I was definitely out of sorts! I think because this was my first year back at the cluster and then the only day I saw them was Sunday in the same area she was in when she announced the divorce I didn't know I was getting, that they were both filing for the following day. I think since this was my first full year back at the cluster like that and the date that next year will be much easier. It is getting those firsts out of the way I think that is the hardest!
On the engagement front that is very premature talking! We have of course discussed it because of the distance between us and the difficulty of getting together. We are both looking forward to the summer and he has promised he is cutting his workload way back. He scheduled it so he had no free time after his wife died because he wanted no free time to think. He just spent all of his time working. If he doesn't follow through on that I will take it he isn't serious after all, but I think he is and is just, as he says, "the most trying person I know"!
Pam
"We must be willing to let go of the life we had planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us"
