I'm so glad to hear everything went well for you and your wife. That is the best present you could ever have after all your hard work in getting your marriage to the place it is now.
Many thanks to my online friends for the warm wishes. This birthday was truely a memorable one. I know that W reached into a place that she is not real comfortable going. That is what made it special. I feel like this has been a long winding road. I know that the journey continues and right now I am on a high. I also know that compared to many here, my journey has been short.
Greg, Congratulations!! Going thru the birthing process with my wife was both magical and frightening. You must certainly be on a high. I have been wondering how things are going for you, W and baby GBON. I've even managed a few prayers.
Keep close to home. This is a difficult transition time for W. You will get used to the interupted sleep after a couple of months. My opinion is that the birth of a child can either pull you closer to W or push you further away depending on how you deal with the shift in W's priorities. I chose to accept the shift as a part of the mom/baby bonding process.
I must admit that I was unprepared for the other shifts that followed years later. The shifts that signaled W's loss of self and the ensuing struggle to break free from the role she became entrenched in. It was my reaction to these shifts that brought me to this BB.
Keep your eyes open and your DB guns loaded and enjoy the new journey.
Happy (much) belated birthday from a fellow cancerian...I'm glad it was a good one.
I also want to thank you for your many words of support, wisdom and understanding. You have a wonderful ability to be empathetic yet provide the much needed kick in the shorts many of us (me) need!
You are one of the lucky ones and I know for that you are thankful, and many of us (me again) are often in awe as you are the epitome of the DB master...you make it look so easy even tho we all know it is not.
Thanks again my friend, and I wish you and your family all the best life has.
A slow road to a happy ending? I realize that there is more involved in making this happen then I first thought. I find that I have been cruising along for a short while now without making any real personal progress for myself or my R. I feel that I have become somewhat stuck without direction for what my next step needs to be.
The BB is a wonderful place for pained souls to find support and seek guidance. Unfortunately, the diversion can also be an excuse to keep us away from making further progress in our own personal situations. Lately, I have found this to be true for myself. I seem to have lost focus and direction and the BB is not helping matters.
I have decided a sabatical is in order. I have some reading/studying to do and some serious communication issues to address with my W. wish me luck and keep me in your prayers as I could sure use them. I'll try to pop by in a couple of weeks to see how everyone is doing.
I completely hear you man. I know we haven't talked since before you left for vacation as I have been trying to do the very thing you mention here.
I will hook up with you via email later today or this weekend. Remember that the phone works both ways...I may not be able to offer much advice to a master like yourself but I have a pretty damn good ear.
Hang in there man. You have been an inspiration to me. My thoughts and prayers are with you. C
I know you're going on "sabbatical" right now, but I just had the urge to drop you a note for when you get back.
We're close to the same age (me: 24/6/58) and seem to be roughly in the same place WRT OR's
quote:Originally posted by KentS: I must admit that I was unprepared for the other shifts that followed years later. The shifts that signaled W's loss of self and the ensuing struggle to break free from the role she became entrenched in. It was my reaction to these shifts that brought me to this BB.
Like you, I was brought to this BB because of the all too typical WAW sitch followed by my depression. My depression made me realize what I had done. W had stopped complaining (her problem was obviously "fixed"). Now, I have no right to complain. CATCH-22.
quote:Originally posted by KentS: It's all about expectation. How can we have this surgically removed. My expectation was that W and I would eventually work our way back into a closeness that we previously embraced. I was just beginning to wonder if I expect too much? If I do, can I live with the compromise? Tough questions!
Yes, tough questions! I guess we just have to accept the way things are without giving up hope that the oh so slow process will continue.
***************************** A slow road to a happy ending? I realize that there is more involved in making this happen then I first thought. I find that I have been cruising along for a short while now without making any real personal progress for myself or my R. I feel that I have become somewhat stuck without direction for what my next step needs to be. ***********************************
I am beginning to wonder if I have a 'next step' to make, or what? I think I'll just try living for a while. Kids started school, I start next week...fall is always a busy time of year.
I know what our issues are, I know there are demons my H has that he is not ready to face-I am thinking he may never be ready to face them. I cannot change that and I cannot do it for him. I am here for him if he ever does want to face them.
It's harder than I think tho....a slow road to a happy ending is what I've been doing...and it scares me because it sometimes seems that I'm not there yet-it makes me think I'm NOT doing something I should be doing. It does not scare me enough to NOT do it, but just enough to force myself to keep my eyes WIDE OPEN from now on. Perhaps my happy ending is now-what I'm living in? I try to focus on today-the here and now- and although I have hope and dreams for our future, I cannot predict what will happen. I am planning for one together but I can only hold a limited degree of certainty for it. Not because I'm being a defeatist...but a realist. I do NOT know what the future holds...the world could end next week...who knows? But I am planning on being around AND married (to H) for a very long time. I will do all I can to support that.
And then in the meantime...just live.
Take care my friend-you have helped me more than you know....I wish you all the best!
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