This weekend marked us breaking out of the trap that our past actions and lack of communication had set for us.
We are a happily married couple in every sense of the word.
It happened this weekend because we were both ready to "let it happen". We were both ready to accept that we had made mistakes and we would not judge each other by them.
I am on the road I want to travel now and I thank and forgive my W for leaving me, for it was her who made me face my selfishness, my control, and my survivor attitude.
Yes I went through a living hell but I believe it was needed to truely apprieciate who I am and what I am capable of.
I am so happy to have such a good life to share with the most wonderful and beautiful W I could ever hope to find.
Chris
[This message has been edited by ChrisJ (edited 03-20-2000).]
Hi Chris- I don't think I've ever posted to you in the past, but I've followed your story for some time. Let me be the first though to send you one very big CONGRATULATIONS! The support and advice that you have given others is incredible and your patience has been so inspiring.
I'm in my 16 month of separation and am truly seeing some encouraging signs re. possible reconciliation with my H. Your words of wisdom, along with others', has really helped me to let things move at a natural pace without the tempting pressure to accelerate everything.
I'm very happy for you and wish you the absolute best--Jamie
Chris, CONGRATULATIONS!!!! This is fantastic news,and this really gives me some hope. How long was your separation again? How long from when she came home til she could open up and let you love her and let herself love you? Remind me again... did she tell you after she came home (I am trying to remember if she actually left) that she wasn't sure if she belonged there (with you)? I am trying so hard to be patient... but I hate my life feeling like it is "on hold". CONGRATULATIONS!!!! This is sooooo wonderful for both of you!!!
Wonderful news!! Although frankly I'm not too suprised since ever since I've been reading your posts, you've had the attitude that it was a foregone conclusion that things would work out with you and your W. Best of luck to both of you. You give me hope to carry on...
ChrisJ, It is great to see one of the guys actually make it! You have did well with the gift of patience. Good luck to a successful old age with your W. Swish, svolt
Thank you all for your support and understanding through all of this mess. I also want to thank my W for giving us the time to reconnect during our difficult times both during and after our seperation.
Last night we had what will be our next to last councilling seesion. After discussing the progress that we both feel that we have made the councillor wanted more information on how we did it. What had made the difference. My W replied that it had been when she could finally except the changes that I had made and when these changes were "felt" she changed.
She said that it would have been to easy to through in the towel last summer and in fact that if it had not been for me standing rock solid and showing complete commitment to our marriage that "we" would have joined the long list of statistics.
The councillor was amazed at how far we have come and suggested that her role now should be a more distant one.
One thing that I believe now that if your wife is WAW it is directly 100% your fault. That until you uncover the reasons that she has felt so alone and disconnected that she must leave or feel attracted to other men, you will never be able to make the changes to show her she matters. By the time she is ready to walkaway she has had and endured much pain. Pain that she has gone through alone.
I will cherrish my W all my days, and I look forward to living old together.
