WOW!! Have any of you had the terrible flu that’s going around this season? Miriam and I were in bed for three days and it still lingers after two weeks.

I am the kind of person that HATES to be sick (this is the sickest I can ever remember being). I have always been tough on other people who have been sick, not only employees but also Miriam, in the past. In a manner of speaking, my getting the flu to such an extent was a full-blown test of my changes and our new relationship.

Miriam got sick first. She was in bed for three days and didn’t go to work for a week. I spent the first two days interspersing caring for her with my work (I work at home). For the first time in my life I was able to put myself into an empathetic frame of mind for her when she was sick. My pay-back for caring for Miriam the first few days was when she took care of me when I became ill. I got much more sick with the flu than she did. She was wonderful.

Miriam told me that she used to feel "worthless" when she got sick because I never became ill and it seemed like she was always the one who got the colds or flu. She said that my caring for her this time meant the world to her and was probably instrumental in her getting well so quickly. She has been especially wonderful to me, since I am now the one who seems to still have the lingering effects.

We spent last evening shopping for the Holidays. This is the first time I can remember actually enjoying spending time shopping with her. I really enjoyed the time spent helping to pick out gifts for everyone. I think, mostly, it was time spent being with Miriam. Being with my wife is, now, one of the real joys in my life.

Another interesting thing....Miriam and I were talking last evening about our last argument.........actually, we didn't talk about our last argument because neither of us could even remember our last major disagreement. We have discussion all the time but it seems that, after being in the same house together and practicing a solution-focused relationship for over four months, we have become incredibly synchronized.

To anyone who has fears or misgivings about their "new" relationship I can say that the continual techniques of Divorce Busting, staying with what works and keeping your changes real, will ensure that your "new" relationship will have staying power. Even in my wildest imaginations and craziest dreams of how it could be between Miriam and me I never even approached the way that it now is between us. It’s not just "puppy" love anymore. We all experience that feeling of "newness", even when we get back together with the same person. I find that Miriam and I are developing a deep-seated respect and mutual admiration for each other. We operate as a true team. Egos have been shelved and the spirit of a mutually desired, solution focused relationship exists.

The expression of concerns regarding the implementation of a "new" relationship with the same person are certainly valid. I have, on numerous occasion, had old fears and misgivings crop up, unannounced.
Concerns and misgivings are going to be a natural occurrence, however, when met with the same Divorce Busing practices that were used to get back into your relationship, they become less and less evident until they all but disappear.

This Holiday Season I want to give my thanks, again, to Michele and her wonderful Divorce Busting methods, and to all on this website who have been supportive, sharing, kind and loving during the last year. This winning combination has allowed me a relationship with the woman of my dreams. We don’t often get second chances. Michele’s Divorce Busting truly does offer the ability for us to have a second chance with the one we love, to renew our relationship and to keep it emotionally satisfying and everlasting.

We, here in this forum, are living and practicing proof that Divorce Busting works. I hope this particular forum becomes huge and filled with successes. In fact, I’m sure it will.

Best wishes to all of you in your Holidays and New Year.

David

[This message has been edited by David (edited 12-23-1999).]