Roller Coasters are no Longer Fun #2

[Dom R]

I'm glad you're feeling more at peace, Amy.

There's a difference between "not NEEDING him to come back",and "not WANTING him to come back".

Finding a place where you dont NEED him to come back, can be healthy to both you and your marriage at the same time.

I dont think you have to feel guilty, about enjoying the peace for a while.

[Amy]

I hope you are right. I am sure he is going to choose to stay with the OW. He is not the kind of guy that will leave her pregnant. I think letting go is the only choice I have. It is just so hard.

[Dom R]

I personally dont see how "leaving her pregnant" is somehow better than "leaving his 4 year old, 6 year old, 7 year old..."

If he really has some kind of moral basis to make decisions on, then he should recognize that he cant "fix" the messed up situation he made with OW (if she really IS pregnant), but he can at least fix his marriage and family.

Best thing he could do for OW and that child (if it exists, and is really his), would be to consider it as "given up for adoption", to OW.

He cant justify being with her "for the child".
I cant think of any child that is going to be happy knowing the truth, of
"yes, I came to be with your mother all through your life! ... and to do that, I abandoned your 4 sisters and 3 brothers."

Not only does it show what a schmuck of a guy he is... it also puts incredible guilt on that child, that it is their fault that those other children are suffering.

Best if he just cuts things off completely, and lets them have a "fresh" start.

[Amy]

Well I have been away for a few days. A whole love of the same. He loves us both etc. etc. etc.

I am so furious today with the MIL that if I never talk to her again it will be too soon. She took it upon herself to have my father call our cell phone company and pretend he is H so she could have the service cut off. She has found one more way to make it so H cant communicate with me.

[fish]

Your ML is an a-hole. She has 7 grandchildren and nothing better to do than to mess with your cell phone to keep you away from her son.

STAY AWAY FROM HER, SHE IS EVIL

[fish]

ALSO...

Play hard ball and call this guys bluff. With all of those children he will get absolutely crushed with child support.

Guys love their kids and wives, but love their money more.

Do it... you will see. Call his bluff!

[Dom R]

I am so furious today with the MIL that if I never talk to her again it will be too soon. She took it upon herself to have my father call our cell phone company and pretend he is H so she could have the service cut off. She has found one more way to make it so H cant communicate with me.

Wait.. YOUR father???

how/why would your HUSBANDs mother, have any sway whatsoever, over YOUR father??

[Amy]

Sorry I meant my father in law. I was so upset i couldnt type. No my family is pretty much livid with the inlaws.

I am not taking calls from any of them. I am not taking calls from H right now, from the in-laws, from anyone. I really just need a week or so of me time. I have to say by not taking the calls it has given me a since of control over my life again and it really has boosted my energy and confidence. I now am in control instead of waiting on his calls.

[Dom R]

She has found one more way to make it so H cant communicate with me.

....

I am not taking calls from any of them. I am not taking calls from H right now,

Interesting.
You despise your mother-in-law. You despise what she tried to do.
Yet you are giving her exactly what she wanted in the first place.

[Amy]

Yes but H has my new cell number I got on my own and when we discussed it he defended her and said she is just trying to help me out. I just said well thats great and I haven't talked to him since. I am just tired of the games. I am just tired.