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Joined: Jul 2007
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Married almost 3 yrs and she hates me now because I hit her boyfriend at her work and she can no longer do overtime @ her job. We have not talked in weeks and I am banned from her work for the time being.

You think she'd be upset if I clld her @ work. Its been like three weeks since we've spoke. I'm trying not to call but why should I feel bad for wanting to talk to my wife.

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I remember that scene in Bridget Jones where she says "Well done", after the cheating cad gets punched out in the name of chilvalry. I hate violence but I can't help thinking, "Well done." Don't get physical! You would not want to get sued. It is actually a loss of control. Too bad for her overtime, boo hoo. Sorry I am sounding so sarcastic but I can't stand the idea that these cheats think they can do whatever they want without accountability or consequence.


Me:38 H:39 MLC
M:10 R:23 years
D6 S3
Bomb: Easter, 2007
"Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
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You know it's strange. Everything about this situation says I should walk away. We're opposites, She cheated, She is a compulsive liar and yet after all the flip flopping i've done I think maybe we don't really choose whom we love. Maybe some people are just brought together and we should relish that.

I was brought up in a family of multiple divorces. My mom cheated on my dad - divorced. My step dad cheated on my mom - divorced. She gets remarried he cheats on her - divorced.

I always said I'd never get divorced and yet here I am starring at it in the face. She not a bad human being she just kinda screwed up in the head sometimes. My dad remarried and is very happy with his wife now. Married like 16 years. So I kinda see why i'm so torn.

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Ok I clld her W and someone else answered and said she wasn't around. Bad sign1. Sent Email for the first time in a month and no response yet. Bad sign2. I'd be thrilled if she did but I don't think she will. And it was only like 4 sentences all having to do with financial things that need to be taken care of. Nothing personal in the email but have a nice rest of your day.

It took me almost 45 minutes to get the courage to hit the send button. Is this normal?

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It's normal that you're about to be told half a dozen times to stop initiating contact.

Welcome to the club!

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I see you have a couple different thread running...

It will be easier for people to post to you consistently if you will stick to one.

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Sorry, I posted one to cope with the infidelity and the other to cope with separation.

Anyway after like three weeks of no contact could the other person really go that dark to where you can't even handle house hold business together. Her and I used to be really easy going people. She's the one that cheated. She acts as if I killed her father.

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You need to understand something: I'm not going to BS you or coddle you. I've run across your threads and read through them.

Do you want advice or do you just want a place to bitch and moan?
You can have either here. Or the whole shebang, but do please clarify...

I asked a question on your other thread.

I'm going to go see what your answer was...

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As for the infidelity and the separation, you can stick to one thread in either forum or keep them both running.

But for consistency and a steady group that knows your whole sitch, it's best to stick with just one thread.

It's up to you.

I'll bounce back and forth for the time being.

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It seems hard to go dark when they are the ones who do not want initial contact but it really does give you back some control. It will get more encouraging when you stand up for yourself in this way. Infidelity is horrible and you have already seen your parents hurt by it. I do not think we choose cheaters, no. But my BF told me we sometimes we recreate the pain we wentthrough when we were younger to test how we would handle it. If that sounds like BS, sorry. I kind of hate psych babble but I do believe in therapy just to help with communication, not necessarily for marriage. See a therapist to work through the stuff with your parents. In the mean time do anything but persue, plead, or cry. Remember that is a turn off. Hold your head up high. It is not about the OP.


Me:38 H:39 MLC
M:10 R:23 years
D6 S3
Bomb: Easter, 2007
"Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

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