Does the grass ever get greener after the D?

[neli]

So I haven't posted in a long time but I do visit and check on everyone else.

Work is really busy. As for the xH front there has been no movement when it comes to him signing the D papers. We are a month away from having to provide a response to the court on the topics that are set for the initial court date. He has not brought custody in as an issue yet. So it is a waiting game. In the mean time he brought his girlfriend to out son's soccer game yesterday. ARGH. I did well. However, I was shocked that he brought her. After the game kids and I, Step MIL and her son, went over to his moms. Him and his gf were not invited. And they knew we were going there. She also could tell how close I was with everyone and I wish her luck. She doesn't seem like his type. I may be wrong on this one but now that I have met her closer I really don't believe this will last. Also, her xH is actively interviewing to move out of state. HE is leaving their son behind with her which is the sad part. gf complained to a friend of mine how now she will have her son all the time. It is called parenting. There is also a chance of her moving out of state also as the state where he is moving is where they are from and gf and her xh both have family there. This will be interesting in the months to come.

I can't see him bringing the gf around to kids' activity as a thing that will look good for him in the courts. I would think if one will fight for custody he will actually try to show some morals to the children. I also would think with the risk of her moving out of state he would want to get divorced so he can marry her to keep her in this state.

As for the rest of my life things are great. I have a gf night out at my house this weekend and a few other activities planned. Life indeed is grand. And just for that smaller benefit, I do look better then her.

Neli

[inspiredjulie]

Hi Neli!

Glad you checked in as I've wondered how you've been. Things sound really good. These narcissistic WASs are pretty amazing. But I'm glad you handled it all so well. Take care. Enjoy life. You are doing wonderfully!

[Committed2Him]

Neli,

Yes, you do sound good! So you've seen gf, you have my sympathy and encouragement. I have found it gets less painful over time but it seems like actually seeing them and an other person in their new life will always be a reminder of the loss of the dream.

As for the finalization and a custody fight, hearing about her dealing with his gf and her gripes about actually parenting, I have this feeling things are going to go the way you want them to, just a feeling.

Have a great time with your gal-pals and with your other fun activities, you deserve it!

[neli]

what a weekend. I was so reminded of all the blessings in my life, friends, family. Life is good.

So my D is still not final. And today I receive an email from xH's gf about how her son would like to get together with my son next weekend (my weekend with the kids) and since the kids are with me she thought she would check with me to see whether that would work out. Her schedule is pretty flexible.

SCREAM: am I missing something? Or is this a norm with individuals that have an affair?

I am not responding yet.

Neli

[swashy]

LOL Neli. I mean what IS that? Are you kidding? If you can do that...well all the power to you.

[bright_new_day]

And today I receive an email from xH's gf about how her son would like to get together with my son next weekend (my weekend with the kids) and since the kids are with me she thought she would check with me to see whether that would work out. Her schedule is pretty flexible

I never cease to be amazed at the gall of the OP. As if what they are doing is completely normal.

[inspiredjulie]

Barf. Barf. Barf.

And not only the gall of the OP, but the gall of the WAS. Wow... I guess narcissists really do attract other narcissists. Blech.

[bright_new_day]

And not only the gall of the OP, but the gall of the WAS. Wow... I guess narcissists really do attract other narcissists. Blech.

What I wonder is how two people so completrely self-centered can survive in a relationship together?

[neli]

I am still completely amazed about the email. I have had a number of responses drafted in my head, but nothing has gone out in email.
I knew I could count on your guys to cheer me up a bit when it comes to this situation. she is a very brave woman.

Anyways, this too shall pass.

Neli

[swashy]

Brave ay? aiight. Call it what you want.