The Edge of Night

[Lissett]

(sigh)

The anger stage will subside sugar. YOu know it will.

ok this is for you






LATIN MOTHERS!



The great things my Mom taught me:



My mother taught me about RELIGION -



"Ay tu pidele a Dios que yo no te agarre."







My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION -



"Deja que lleguemos a la casa coño!"







My Mother taught me about my ROOTS -



"Mal-agradecido, cuando yo era chiquita no tenia nada!"




My mother taught me about LOGIC -



" Como que porque? Porque Si!"



My Mother taught me about CONFUSION -



"Me cago en la Madre que te pario!" (Wait, isn't that her?)







My mother taught me about INSPIRATION-



"Si llegas con malas notas te voy a hacer comer la chancleta"




My Mother taught me about WISDOM-



"Tu crees que te lo sabes todo y no sabes ni limpiarte el culo!"

[EverHopeful]

Liss,

You made me laugh at at time when I can only push back the tears. He is really hurting my feelings, I mean I am a tough person but I am so very hurt. Deep down inside hurt. I wonder if I can ever get over this hurt, I wonder if he ever will come back and if we could be a happy family,I wonder if I would ever be able to find someone for me when this is all said and done. i just cracked a smile, thanks. I know that the anger will subside but in the meanwhile, it hurts.


RCR,
I am going to print out and read so that I can reply. But I have another question ... What about cases where they are cake eating? You see, I let H come and go, spend time, I made myself available the house was comfortable and safe. We spent time as a family but then I found that he was quite content and still doing his own thing. So,I sort of changed my strategy and distanced.

Now it seems that he is furious and colder than ever. He mentioned to a friend that he was very angry with me and the more that he thought about it the angrier he got. I have never experienced him being so angry. He is hellbent on divorce, unlike anytime before so I guess that he wants the freedom to see his skank in the light of day.

How does anger play into all of this? What happens after anger or do they stay in?

[Rollercoasterider]

Happy_Again on Cake Eating

Look at what Happ_Again said this morning about Cake-Eating--he xplained it well. Then I will try to say something.

Anger
This is not the STAGE called Anger. His Anger is how he is throwing a temper tantrum. Do not fear the anger.

Cake-Eating
Happy has shown how coming over to the house and hanging out is not cake-eating, but rather reaching out to the comfort zone--that's it in a nutshell.

So let me tell you about cake-eating--cause Sweetheart did it.
The conditions: Sweetheart did not have his own place, but lived with the OW. The OW monitored him heavily. The OWs house was 20 minutes away. He didn't spend time at home as many Drop-Ins seem to do. I could have boundaried that...but didn't need to worry too much about it. He came over occasionally--but not often.

Contact that was incessant at times was by phone and more by text--I never put a no-contact on texting. A few days solid of "I miss you and am thinking of you all the time..." I ignored those I think--but would ahve to check my archives...but for the most part responded to him and communicated often by text.

But the cake-eating
Sweetheart wanted to do things with me...bike riding, skiing...PLAY.

And this was reaching out also

BUT it involved sneaking around on the OW...cheating on her basically.

He was trying to play with me and 'be' with her.

I put a stop to it not because I felt him become comfortable...I knew he was a 3-monther and would be home. But I went no contact because I did not approve of cheating and lieing...not on the OW and not on me.

Maybe it wasn't so much cake-eating as me placing a moral boundary on what I would be party to.

He wanted the best of both worlds...but it wasn't about that for me--the no-contact.

And at times I removed the no-contact and allowed some cake--it depended on his needs. I didn't approve of sneaking around, but when I felt his motivations change I compromised...in Oct 2005 he was taking advantage of me in PLAY...last Summer he was in Depression and needed a shoulder.

So read Happy's explanation and then think about whether he was cake-eating or not. Let him be comfortable at home. MLC takes TIME...and thus it may seem he is comfortable with a foot in each world. Live with it.

HUGS,
RCR

[EverHopeful]

Hi all,

I have some stuff going on in my sitch and am just asking that you keep me in your prayers this weekend. I admit that I am nervous but, it must be done. Please pray for me and my family.


RCR-Will print out and read so that I can respond.

[happy_again]

what exactly is going on

[happy_again]

can you translate all of that lis

[always_14]

OK, the call for the sidekicks came by.

Ever, just let us know you are SAFE. We are a little worried about that.

Of course, you are in our prayers.

Trust in yourself, and in God. You have within you all that you need in life. And the hands of love around you and God to hold you through anything.

[Lissett]

Yes I can translate, but it was for Ever only.

I can be the bilingual sidekick, i can tell them off in spanish it sounds saucy!

[Jeanette1120]

Ever....

The most important advice I can give to you, is what was given to me. Do exactly what your lawyer tells you to. Do not listen to what he says as more than likely he is lying. He is angry because of his own demons, not to mention that you will more than likely get a hefty settlement and child support.

As my mediator said. Once you get to mediation, you need to be detached and be nothing but business. If it bites him in the ass...consider it a bite that might open his eyes.

He does seem angry and vindictive....so we will pray that at least that subsides. Just be careful and alert and stay one step ahead.

Jeanette

[EverHopeful]

cs notification. he will be livid.