I'm pretty convinced that it's not for me however and I really think a meditation class could fill the void I'm looking to fill.
From Going to Pieces Without Falling Apart:
"In meditation, I had stumbled upon a new way to be with myself. I did not have to make that disturbing feeling of emptiness disappear. I did not have to run away from my emptiness, or cure it, or eradicate it. I had only to see what was actually there. In fact, far from being 'emtpy,' I found that emptiness was a rather 'full' feeling. I discovered that emptiness was the canvas, or background, of my being. I did not understand it, but I was much less afraid. My condition had no name, but I could reach down into it."
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go
I think for me the question is what is the critical or moral difference between "living in the moment" vs. "living for the moment"? Maybe it's the same as the difference between "wanting" and "needing"? Isn't it always more enjoyable to live in a moment that results from an assumption of free will and an application of self-discipline? The hand reaches for the cookie before the brain can verbalize the desire and a man can "tell" a woman that she needs to have sex with him so free will doesn't exist. Our needs are reflexive and the only self-discipline is anesthesia. But wait, I "want" to be healthy and happy and whole so I stop reaching for the cookie, I stop reaching for the man who doesn't want me. I fill the void with the power of my "will" which is really the power of my "want". Not "wanting to want" is living in fear of exerting your own will or doubting its existence. When I laugh at myself that is a powerful moment because I fully accept that I have arrived at a cr*ppy moment in my life as the result of my own free will in action so I might as well savor it.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
I'm particularly curious about the class Dave found because, even though I'm not exactly religious, I've been thinking about trying church. I'm pretty convinced that it's not for me however and I really think a meditation class could fill the void I'm looking to fill.
Hey Heather, the class I found was while I was on a business trip in the SF bay area by searching Craigslist for something to do. I was getting really tired of going to bars and movies and decided to use my time more productively. I found a related center in GA. They are all under the New Kadampa Tradition. http://www.kadampa.org In the SE part of the US, try this http://www.meditationforeveryone.org
Don't be intimidated. Some people go for the meditation while some are fully into the religion bits but at the end of the day, it's a very helpful and friendly group.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time
-Steven Wright
Hi NotAtlDave... Just wanted to say hi to you. I remember when I joined this board I interrupted one of your threads with some details of my story; I didn't realize proper BB etiquette to start my own thread. At that time you, Tim and others were discussing PM, and your convictions really helped me to clarify my own agenda and assert myself. I have come a long way, and I associate you with my start.
I am fascinated that you've moved out of the country...how is your daughter reacting? Can you tell us more about what your W thinks of this whole change?
Here's a link to a story this morning on NPR about mindfulness meditation for pain management... they're talking about physical pain, but it would work for emotional pain, too. The main idea is to stay IN THE MOMENT because that's all we ever have-- just this instant. Everything happens NOW. Nothing happens in the past or future-- ever.
Mojo, we don't make a choice to live in the moment-- it's where we do live. We have no choice. Even when we fantasize that we're in the past or future, we're not.
Mojo, we don't make a choice to live in the moment-- it's where we do live. We have no choice. Even when we fantasize that we're in the past or future, we're not.
We can live in the past and the future if are open to reality beyond three dimensions. Our self that lives in the past seems degraded simply because entropy distorts information. Our self that lives in the future is forming in front of us in the present moment. Light or energy or the life force brings it into being or consciousness. It is irrational to say "I will not or do not live beyond this moment" unless what we mean by "I" is as transient as the moment itself. Entropy is the source of all evil and we can only combat it by keeping ourselves open to growth.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
So what about the sex? This is where some of you might see my success story as being not-so-successful. All of us would love to have our spouse take more initiative. I think I'm still a bit sour-grapes that she's wired this way.
Hey, Dave! I've got questions!
I assume you're talking about more initiative sexually? What would that look like to you?
Quote:
She's a classic "not want to want" type. This makes her peaceful about giving me space to do things with friends but makes her a better roommate than a spouse. I'd love to give her something but she doesn't want anything. BUt again, through the SSM issue we worked through a bunch of other issues and I'm in a much better place because of it.
Are you still dealing with sexual starvation? When you're talking about "give(ing) her something, but she doesn't want anything" - are you talking sexually or ?
We can live in the past and the future if are open to reality beyond three dimensions. Our self that lives in the past seems degraded simply because entropy distorts information. Our self that lives in the future is forming in front of us in the present moment. Light or energy or the life force brings it into being or consciousness. It is irrational to say "I will not or do not live beyond this moment" unless what we mean by "I" is as transient as the moment itself. Entropy is the source of all evil and we can only combat it by keeping ourselves open to growth.
Hunh???
Good lord, I've gotta lay off the red wine. I'm just not gettin' ANY of this stuff anymore!
