mbro, rejection is never a good feeling especially when you're reeling from the love of your life ditching you. You were brave enough to give it a try, bravo! It didn't work out the way you hoped and that's unfortunate, so what do you do now? What's the next step for mbro to get back on his feet and move ahead? Small steps, guy! You'll bounce back cuz you seem like a hard guy to hold down. Take care.
MBRO, I doubt anyone is happy that you got stood up. No one wants to see you hurt... and that's part of why we urged you not to pursue dating yet.
I know you are lonely, and need someone to hang out with, to talk to... and would like to suggest you check out two possibilities. One, would be a www.divorcecare.com for divorce recovery workshops in your area. They are very inexpensive, and very helpful. You meet once a week, and I made some friends there... it's a great thing.
The other is www.meetup.com, then look for your city. There are all kinds of activities (including singles groups and divorce support groups) and they have them everywhere. Again, you might want to focus more so on the divorce support groups, or on groups that participate in activities that you enjoy.
One or both of these might be helpful to you? I hope so.
I started dating about 4 or 5 months ago. I figure my approach was very rusty in the beginning because I had about a 80 percent rejection rate. As time when on, I paid attention to what was working and what was not and adjusted accordingly. It's been a very long time for me and there is an art to it. After a while, I was starting to have some fun with it and the rejection didn't bother me at all. The challenge was the real rush. I mean hell, I experienced the biggest rejection of my life when my W walked out on me, so this rejection was nothing in comparison. "WHO's MY NEXT SUBJECT" were my thoughts after each rejection. Trust me, I'm no Prince Charming but there are plenty of single/divorced Woman out there in my age and interest range who were willing to go out with me. It's just a matter of approaching enough of them and finding that comfort and compatibility zone. The more you approach, the more your success. I believe the same is true for any Man regardless of age, appearance, financial status, or whether he has kids or not. I figure I had brought that rejection rate down to about 60 percent during the last few months simply from overlooking the rejection and remembering what works and what doesn't.
So what, you were rejected, it's nothing against you personally. There could be a million different reasons OW reject you that have nothing to do with you personally, so you shouldn't take it that way. If this rejection is really bothering you than your not ready to date. You know you have probably rejected OW in the past when you were single and it didn't necessarily have anything to do with them personally. You may not have had the time, was focused on some project, was busy with career, may have just come out of another relationship, etc. Woman are no different, if dating isn't on their agenda, then not even Romeo could talk them into it.
At about a 60 percent rejection rate, I attracted the attention of enough OW to keep a healthy rotation in place. You can do this to if you learn to embrace the rejection and learn from it instead of stew over it.
I've slowed down over the past two months because I'm spending more time with one particular OW and I don't have as much time for others. Before her, I was dating about 3 or 4 different OW per month. If it didn't work out with one, we would part ways and I'd find someone else I found interesting to take her place. No big deal!
If you have processed what has happened to you in your last relationship, then rejection from OW should be rolling right off your back. If it's not, then take some more time before trying again. You really do need to heal before throwing yourself back out into the dating world. It's brutal enough as it is, don't be mentally and emotionally unprepared for it.
"It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare." -Mark Twain
I am sorry that your date stood you up. It doesn't say much about her does it? Sounds like you dodged a bullet.
You were brave enough to take a risk and it didn't work out this time. One date is not an indicator of all your future dates. You will have lots of rejections and lots of good dates. You may do a little rejecting yourself someday. That is just the nature of dating.
Remember that that woman's action/words define her as an individual - her actions/words do not define you. Only you have the power to define yourself.
I found your thread perhaps a little too late. That sucks that she stood you up. I have been doing the online dating thing since last June and have good success. I actually had woman come looking for me which I did not expect; good for the ego. If you want advice I am more than happy to share my experiences and insights.
In the beginning of this thread the question was about giving flowers on a first date. I have always done it and everytime the woman loves them. So I would say yes always give a flower or a nice bouquet of flowers.
As far as getting stood up...that has not happened to me...yet. I like to talk to a woman first, on the phone, before actually setting up a date, then take it from there. Many times I have decided, based on conversation, that things would not get to a date.
I believe this has served me well. The lady I am seeing now is wonderful in every way and we are both very attracted to each other. It started with our first phone conversation and took off from there.
Look...just dont let things get you down. So you were stood up. Pick yourself up and try again. I dont know what site you are using but I use Yahoo's. Put your profile out there with some good pictures and let the woman come get you. The beauty of the whole online thing is that there is no "walk of shame" when the girl says no. Just go on to the next one. You may be nervous, but so are they. Hope this helps and would be glad to answer more questions from anyone. Ciao.
I dated a guy that would being my mini sunflowers from HIS yard that he grew! One day he came over and forgot to bring me a sunflower so when he went home he went outside and took a picture of one and emailed it to me with the caption "since I forgot". Do you know how much that meant to ME? This was the seetest gesture that ANYONE has ever done for me and I would melt every time he would bring me flowers! And on occassion he brought me flowers from a florist and even from the grocery store, it never mattered where they were from, just the idea that I knew he thought of me and was looking forward to seeing me!
And for the record I own a flower shop! I happen to love flowers and the guy I dated never felt threatened about that
WOW TM, that sounds really sweet!
So what else did Romeo do that scored points with you???
