Ok actually hit send too soon, my finger is sooo sore. I can see both sides of this coin I had a "friendly date" 5 months after ex left me,,,1/2 my friends said, no way! its too soon you are just trying to self medicate and give yourself an ego boost ( they were right on the money) but you couldn't of told me that back then!
1/2 my friends said,,,, go for it!! you deserve it, God knows he was dating while still married/living w/ you! Well, I stopped,,,, made a single life for me,,,and a year ago, started again and its much better, I am dating for another reason now,,,, but it was me who had to decide that, and i'm thick headed at times. No one knows what works for one person. Its such a dam* painful time.
Be Happy for this Moment, This Moment is your Life
Just my opinion AGAIN, but wouldn't it of been better if you would of just simply Thanked us for our opinions, taken them into consideration, and then done what you wanted to do, instead of accusing us of being negative and judgemental.
This is what the BB is all about. Seeking help, whether we agree or not. Just seeking help and advice. I can honestly say, everyone of us here has helped each other in some way, even if it was as simple as just listening.
Gotta agree w/ Friend here I didnt post before but saw how dire mbro was and everyone trying to help him, you cant just say help me when I need you but agree w/ me when I want, Dosnt work that way, not here anyway.
guess its time to move on from this thread now too!
Be Happy for this Moment, This Moment is your Life
I am ready to detach a little from my point of view and ready to listen! How are you doing?
The truth is that you do sound much better on this thread than you have sounded in awhile.
How did your meeting go with your friend? Did you bring flowers? What did she think?
You do know that everyone that is posting to you about being careful, including myself, fell headlong into a post D R a little too early - and no one could stop us! There is one poster that actually quit his job and moved to a different state for a post D R! So to put thing in perspective one date is really not all that big a deal. I hope you decide to post again.
so i stepped away and didn't subscribe. i come back and there's a [censored] load of posts....
SO I WILL GO AND MAKE EVERYONE FEEL GOOD ABOUT THEMSELVES
SHE STOOD ME UP, THERE, HAPPY?
IM'D ME TONIGHT TO SAY I AM TOO NICE AND THAT SHE HAS NO FEELINGS FOR ME AT ALL. ALL THIS AND WE HAVE NEVER MET.
THERE, LAUGH ABOUT IT. LAUGH AT MY FAILURE. SHE TOLD ME SHE WANTED TOP CONTINUE TEXTING AND EMAILING AND STUFF, BUT I HAVE [censored] HAD IT WITH SITTING AT HOME AND TYPING. I WANTED SOMEONE TO GO AND HANG OUT WITH.
WHY IS THAT SO WRONG? WHY IS BEING A SINGLE DAD SUCH A STRIKE AGAINST ME? OR IS IT THAT I AJUST PLAIN UNNATTRACTIVE?
LAUGH AWAY
I HOPE IT REINFORCES YOUR SENSE OF SELF....HAHA POOR IDIOT WENT AND DID IT ANYWAY GOT WHAT WAS COMING TO HIM..
Sorry to hear about your experience there Mbro ! I have had that happen to me a long time ago and it was disappointing at first.. then I realized that if that is how the person was... then why would I want to hang out with them anyway ? Not a very "friend" like thing to do to someone .
All right, mbro, I think we can agree that I was in your corner on the dating bit, right? So let me address some of your issues.
SHE STOOD ME UP, THERE, HAPPY?
No, nobody's happy about that. Every poster on this thread, including those who warned you against dating, wanted you to have fun.
THERE, LAUGH ABOUT IT. LAUGH AT MY FAILURE. ... I HOPE IT REINFORCES YOUR SENSE OF SELF....HAHA POOR IDIOT WENT AND DID IT ANYWAY GOT WHAT WAS COMING TO HIM..
Nobody's laughing. You're feeling sorry for yourself.
SHE TOLD ME SHE WANTED TOP CONTINUE TEXTING AND EMAILING AND STUFF, BUT I HAVE [censored] HAD IT WITH SITTING AT HOME AND TYPING. I WANTED SOMEONE TO GO AND HANG OUT WITH.
I don't blame you for wanting someone to go and hang out with but it seems like you could use the practice you'd get from continuing to text and email.
WHY IS THAT SO WRONG? WHY IS BEING A SINGLE DAD SUCH A STRIKE AGAINST ME? OR IS IT THAT I AJUST PLAIN UNNATTRACTIVE?
It's probably not healthy for you to date until you feel good enough about yourself that you don't overpersonalize the other person's actions. There's a lot of rejection in dating. Being a single dad will be a strike against you with some women and a feather in your cap with others. It's about them and where they are in their life; not about you. You'll be attractive to some women and unattractive to others. That's part of the deal. At some point you'll probably be seeing somebody that you end up rejecting. That's no fun, either, but unless you're willing to do it you're likely to find yourself right back in a tough relationship.
Maybe the most important rule in dating is: allow the other person their choice. A relationship may make perfect sense to you from every angle but the other person still doesn't want to start it, or wants to stop. That's their choice; they're allowed that. They're allowed to do exactly whatever they want even if they don't even want to merely be friends. It's puzzling and frustrating when that happens but unless you're capable of dealing with it, dating will be a mine field for you.
I've found post-D dating enjoyable. The painful parts sucks but I survived the pain of my divorce and dating pain pales in comparison (but it still sucks). If you haven't survived the pain of your divorce yet, that's something to consider.
Good luck, dude. Make the choices that work in your life, even when they're painful.
Stop WaitingFeel EverythingLove AchinglyGive ImpeccablyLet Go
How are you doing?