A belated Merry Christmas to all my friends! It's so nice to see so many of us oldtimers in one place.
Frosty, thanks for the wonderful article. I wish I had stopped by here about a week ago because I really could have used it, when I was feeling blue. I find since the divorce, I dread the holidays and that it takes all that I have to get into the holidays, and even then its hard.
Christmas was split this year and I never had both of my kids together at the same time, and that just plain sucks. Christmas is just not the same anymore. Between the kids being grown and the divorce fall-out, making the best of it is all we can do, but it leaves me wanting it just to be over.
I had planned a big meal at my house for Christmas eve and a few days before, my son informs me that his paternal aunt is having a big bash with all the cousins, the whore and the ex, and he's going there instead, but he'd come for Christmas Day dinner. Well my ex was doing Christmas Day dinner at his house and my daughter already planned to go there. Even though I wasn't cooking for Christmas Day, and my son said he'd be ok with any left-overs, I just couldn't do that, so I wound up cooking two big meals two days in a row. We ended up opening gifts with both kids seperately. I was really disappointed, although I made the best of it. I mentioned to my daughter that next year, I'm just disappering for Christmas, going on a cruise or Europe or something, that way no one has to worry about splitting up anything. Then she says to me, "what about me? It's not my fault my brother screwed everything up." She's right. So I probably will stick out next year yet again, another sucky holiday with a vivid reminder of having a split up family.
To conclude my pity-party, I want to say that it just sucks that I always wind up with the left-overs when it comes to the kids. I never asked or wanted this divorce, and it seems that even 7 years later it is still the gift that no one wanted that keeps on giving.
I'm glad this place and you all are here to vent. Now I can go back to pretending everyhing is fine and none of this crap bothers me one bit, because I have "moved on" just as I'm supposed to!
It is nice seeing all these familiar names, isn't it. And whats even better is that we all know exactly how you feel. I'm also glad I have a place to go to and be understood. Yes, Mary it still sucks, having to split the time with the kids........but we have to make the best of it, it's all we can do.
Wishing you the best in 2007. No one wins in divorce, no one.
Love, FRIEND
P.S. I went out on a blind date last night and it SUCKED TOO. lol
I believe that many reasons we go to the board is our deep belief in family, which is so important at Christmas. I feel the pangs at the strangest times and I have no doubts that I am over my X and have "moved on" also. Your kids will remember the 2nd dinner and they know how special you are. Anyone that meets you knows that!! (Say hi to Clark for me and a hug!!)
Love you too, my "FRIEND" (((hugs)))
I'm lucky (not sure about the kids, though) in that my X truly did abandon his kids and set the precedent. With the exception of Xmas eve, I get my kids for all holidays. I remember my first Xmas eve alone (and we're only talking alone until 10pm mass )... but, still, I sobbed and cried. The 2nd was not as bad, but I still was sad. I was also grieving his family and my exclusion from them. Now, I look at it as extra time to get ready for the morning...
I'm so blessed with people that care about me and included in that is people from this board. I wish for all to feel that peace and caring this new year!!
Hope you all have a great New Year and that it brings us all health and happiness. As I see old timers like me always read when Frosty posts I just wondered if any one ever hears from Libnor, I seem to have the wrong email address for her. Well time for me to get ready for New Year party, takes a little longer these days to improve on mother nature . Wish that self leveling cement set a little quicker. This is my 6th NY alone and it does get better, thoughts still return to my "other life" and "home" but guess that will always happen. Be 4 years in my shoebox come Feb.Frightening how quick time is going by, now all the more reason to reach for our goals and dreams with renewed vigor. Love and good wishes to you all.
Am I too late to get in on the Happy New Years greetings? No I shouldn't be on surviving, since we're not divorced, but I was doing a search for CC and found her here -- hey CC, Wonder, Frosty, MC, etcetc -- how are you all? Alex N
. Wish that self leveling cement set a little quicker. 