All things work together for good....

[qoe100]

C2H,
You're a wonderful Dad!!! Also, I think it's great that you're willing to do whatever it takes for the kids to be comfortable in this process. It sucks but sometimes one parent has to be the adult and extend the olive branch when it's possible. I know there's times when it's not possible but you're doing great!!!!
Jill

[KarenMarieS]

Committed,
I couldnt agree more w/ Jill, you are an awesome dad!
You are doing a fantastic job getting your children through this time and its hard when I am sure you have so many mixed feelings. You are def a gem!

as far as tips from my NNG, hes a peach for sure, but you do not need tips, I think you are gonna be just fine, and one very lucky woman will be waiting for you.

MERRY CHRISTMAS !!

[Committed2Him]

Jill and Karen,

Thank you! After trying for so many years to make my X happy, it made me doubt myself. I have learned that you cannot make someone else happy. I am honest in that I have been asking God to show me what I can learn from this AND to show me what my mistakes were and He is doing that. But, to hear others such as yourselves affirm that my attitude and approach are decent, that helps me know that when I am ready to start courting, there should be receptive, healthy women who will appreciate what I have to offer in a true give and take partnership.

Merry Christmas and blessings to you and your loved ones!

[Delboy]

Hi Committed2Him, Read Psalm 143.

Love
Delboy

[Committed2Him]

Delboy,

Thanks for the Psalm (143), it is a great one for when you feel like you can't go another step.

I feel so blessed that I am not in that kind of a frame of mind at the present time but storms will come so I need to tuck that one away for such a time.

Thanks again for sharing.

[Committed2Him]

Christmas Hugs
Christmas day I went to pick up my kids to go spend time with my family. I anticipated that OM would be there and this would be my first real face to face since discovering he was in fact an OM.

I prepared myself to be, for lack of a way to describe it, “the bigger person” and walked towards OM as I entered the house. I started to extend my hand and began to say “Merry Christmas” and just as I did, my D (15) came zooming down the hallway and hugged me around the neck. I wound up shaking OM’s hand with my daughter hanging on to me.

I gave X a present I had for her and made some small talk with X and OM while I waited for the kids to get ready. X walked me out to the car to help me carry some small gifts she had for my neighbors.

“Thank you. I’m sorry”
After loading my car, X moved towards me to hug me and as she did, she said the above in my ear. I have respected her space and we had not hugged or even really touched since before she moved out in June even though there had been times that I wanted to. I believe she was thanking me for getting to a place of being able to be cordial in the presence of OM but she really caught me off guard.

The time before and after Christmas have been great because it was my weekend and I had the kids afterwards because of X’s schedule. Christmas eve, when my kids were with X’s family, I went to a special presentation at church and afterwards shared a meal with a brother. This was a Christmas to be thankful for my many blessings, and I was.

[d_o_c]

Hi C2H,

It looks like you had a good Christmas all things considered. Your attitude seems to be pretty good as well. Keep up the good work and keep your eyes on Jesus.

[Committed2Him]

doc,

Yes overall, a good Christmas. By the way, I am looking to sign up for a DivorceCare group, thanks for reminding me about them (new groups begin at the start of the year. One of their daily email messages shared info on the book, Single Separated and Life After Divorce by Myles Munroe. I have found the first couple of chapters to be very good so, thanks again (scripture based). I'll share more on this.

Revelation- I wasn't happy!!!
I was reading Single, Separated... and it hit me, I was not happy in my marriage! I was so busy trying to keep from losing the marriage that I was not enjoying my life and I certainly wasn't happy nor fulfilled in my walk with my Lord.

The process of "Getting A Life" is now very much driven towards beign "centered," Christ-centered.

2007, what an adventure which lies ahead!

[d_o_c]

Hello C2H!

By the way, I am looking to sign up for a DivorceCare group, thanks for reminding me about them (new groups begin at the start of the year.

Let me know how it goess. I am interested in your opinion and how the meetings and materials help you. DivorceCare was very helpful to me. I am thinking about going again when the D comes through, especially since they updated the material.

I was reading Single, Separated... and it hit me, I was not happy in my marriage!

When me and my W were together I knew I wasn't happy in our M. I knew our M was in trouble but I didn't know what to do. I thought that most of the problems were the fault of my W. Imagine my surprise when God revealed to me my sin in my M and that I was more at fault than my W.

My biggest problem was that I had strayed far from my realtionship with Christ and demanded things be done my way. In a sense making myself "Lord" of my life.

I think this is where we go wrong in our relationships. First we ignore our relationship with Jesus then we start ignoring our relationships with others. Then we focus on ourselves and our perceived problems whether real or not. Then we focus on these problems while we ignore the root cause of all our problems which is our neglected relationship with God.

The process of "Getting A Life" is now very much driven towards beign "centered," Christ-centered.

Your quote above is how we solve our problems in relationships and marriage and many other difficult situations we encounter in our lives. We need to remain Christ-centered to deal properly with the problems that arise in our lives and to maintain healthy relationships.

If God gave His only son in order to have a relationship with us then it must be very important indeed to have Jesus as the center and Lord of our lives.

C2H I am greatly encouraged by your attitude. It is good to see someone desire to have Christ the center of his life and to delight in Him. While you may have many trials ahead of you I believe you are building a good foundation on which to stand against them.

2007, what an adventure which lies ahead!

Amen! With Christ life is an adventure I look forward to the new year.

Happy New Year!

[Committed2Him]

Doc,

I’ll let you know how DivCare goes, still trying to locate a group through the various churches that participate, waiting on a confirmation from several of them.

As for next year (goals posted below), staying Christ-centered is key to everything as we have both learned. I think we both have an exciting 2007 ahead.

Happy New Year my friend, "Talk" to you in ’07!