Wanting to get on with my life...

[Peace]

Okay Doug01, I tried your challenge but that is harder than you think. When I would notice a man, he almost always had a wedding ring on and if he didn't, he was usually with someone or just the type that you wouldn't dare talk to. I will keep trying though, gives me something to look to.

[StrongNSassy]

Yes men are everywhere... trust me on this... the hard part is just finding the right man for me.

I've recently met men at Lowe's, the car wash (he's my mortgage lender now refinancing my house, dinner once the papers are signed). You just start with a simple hello or a smile. It's the smile that works for me. Oh and of course the usual online stuff and bars... yes, always look for the ring!!

[doug01]

Peace, it makes me feel good to know your tryin...keep at it. I had another date last night, and a 2nd with someone on Saturday. As Lisa said, us men and you ladies are everywhere and it will be hard finidng the right one...especially now. Let's face it, were not ready to meet "The One" A big part of me still wants the STBX back, and you seem to be in the same boat.

[Peace]

Oh I know...I just keep thinking that either of 2 things will happen. H will turn back to me and I wasted some time learning new flirts or 2. I am practicing for when I really am ready. Preparing for the big thing....Either way, I'm just killing time for someone to be ready. And, I don't plan on hurting me by doing something stupid. But sometimes, I just so pissed that H is out screwing someone and I'm left all alone with kids. It's like, duh, I need love too. But you are right, I am not ready.

Good Luck on your dates.

[doug01]

This is my 2nd D. The 1st W had EA, I was still willing to work through it, she wanted out. Said she didn't want me, not sure she ever really did, ouch! I went out and slept with a lot of people because of my insecurities at the time. Your H has some insecurity issues if he needs to leave the M to find something that he feels is missing in his life. Hopefully he gets through it.

I did, and I'm not the same man I was 4yrs ago. Something that I couldn't go through then, I am strong enough to handle now. I know God is testing me and I just smile at it, bring it on, is that all you've got, heck, I can get through this with my head held high and my faith still strong. You know the story of Job: Devil said he is weak and will lose faith as soon as you stop blessing him. God striped him of everything over time, Job kept his faith stayed strong. Job proved his faith, everything and then some was given back to him. I'm not even waiting for the rewards...I'm going to be happy no matter what (just don't hurt my kids)

ps, on your new endeavors, practice makes perfect.

[Peace]

You might not want to challenge God right now. He can dish out more if you really want HIM to.

I know the story of Job, it is what keeps me going most days. Another thing that keeps me going is with all of the turmoil, I have got to be a child of God's!

[doug01]

God will only dish out what he knows we can handle, just enough to test us...please, I hope that is true

Service this week was Exodus 14:12 Didn't we say to you in Egypt, 'Leave us alone; let us serve the Egyptians'? It would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the desert!" 13 Moses answered the people, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. 14 The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." 15 Then the LORD said to Moses, "Why are you crying out to me? Tell the Israelites to move on.

You can't stay here, you can't go back, the only thing to do is move forward. How you doin' Peace, you moving forward. I'm not saying give up your hopes, where there is love there is hope. Movin' forward is tough some days.

[BethM]

Great post Doug,

Nice food for thought along with the reminder that all we have to really work with is the direction we choose to take our life. I truly believe that is what this is all about. We go along and sometimes never bother to look around to decide what we're bringing to this world, or what kind of people we are. The only time we are ever forced to grow is through adversity. This is our time to grow as people and to make the most out of why we were put here in the first place.

Peace, whether you realize it or not, everyday you become a little bit stronger. The changes are gradual, but nontheless, they are happening. Six months from now you will be a different person than you are today. Can you imagine the strength that you will have a year from now that you never even knew was in you?

Hang in there Kiddo. I promise you that this is the worst of it!

Love,
Beth

[Peace]

Doug,

thanks for the encouragement. I really think God spoke through you. I have been having a tough time deciding to hang in or to move forward. After last night, I am ready to move forward. My husband has.

Beth,
yeah, the worst is over. Still hurts but the worst is over. I do feel stronger every day. I just wish I could move as fast as my husband through all of this. He doesn't appear to suffer at all

[doug01]

what happened last night? Move forward, but you can do this without giving up hope. We can still hope they come back, but we wont be in the same place if they do. Hopefuly, they will grow from this as well. We can only control our actions.

This is a slow process and there is no way to rush through it. The biggest part is our fear of not having that intimate relationship. Don't look to someone else. We need to face that fear and go into that unknown. We need to find ourselves before we can come out of it.