Living with my stepdad would save me money. But I have to worry about my dog. I have to worry about my stepdad's drinking. I have to worry about my stepdad not liking my boyfriend (if we stay together). All my stuff is in boxes. My bedroom is overtaken by my bed. (I literally have about 3 feet of walking space in my room)
I could move into a cheap apartment. (I found 1 that seems really nice for $405/month that accepts dogs, that is close to both places of work. Washing/Dryer in the unit) 2 bedroom is only $559. Security deposit $99 & I have an ad With 2 bedroom I could have a bedroom and an office or have a roommate.
I have an interview on April 17th for an executive secretary position at a nonprofit organization. It was odd, I applied for a vocational counselor and based on my experience & the fact that the secretary who has been there for 16 years just quit - the boss lady wanted to ask if I'd consider the secretary job.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
That's great about the job offer. I would wait and see what happens with that before signing on an apt. You can even move in with Step Dad for a couple of weeks. If you get the job and it pays enough for you to pay off debt while keeping up on rent etc - go for it then. I still think getting out of debt is #1 priority. Oops, make that #2. Getting rid of BF would be #1 in my books.
Honestly, I really think you need to work on your decision making process taking all things into account, make pros and cons lists. I'm really getting the feeling that you are fence sitting and hoping we will make your decisions for you, then when we make sensible suggestions, you tell us why they don't work. Part of what we have learned on this bb is to be Pro Active and Solution Orientated. Let's see you make a decision and live with the consequences. We can only make suggestions - it is your life.
TMW, I kind of agree with Barb. Although, I don't think you're waiting for "us" to make decisions, but rather, for BF to make them.
I really hope you take this opportunity that's presenting itself to work on "you" (meaning, finances, possible new job, etc) and not BF and his lousy attitude about most everything. You really can do better than him.
I know it seems like we're all here BF bashing, but as outsiders we can all see what a loser he is. You deserve so much better. However....YOU have to be the one to know that.
$405/mo x 12 months = $4860 - wouldn't that help you out a WHOLE lot with your debt? You could even use some of that to hire a neighbor kid to walk the dog in the afternoons?
You can always move into an apartment if it doesn't work out later.
I use this board as an idea bouncer, for suggestions, ideas. For fresh perspectives from people who don't interact with me every single day.
If I did get this apartment, I just wouldn't pay off my debt as fast I would have by just staying with my stepdad. Nothing is final. No, the problem is I can't have ANYONE walk my dog or anything because my stepdad doesn't trust anyone to have a key or be in the house for any reason when he isn't there.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
TMW: I understand that but I felt my post was right on. I teach kids. I tell them that "CAN'T" is a 4 letter word. I see you putting up so many roadblocks and using the word "CAN'T". This is just my own observation. Remember - it is up to ourselves to make things happen in our lives. Postive attitude is the way to go. Do what will make things best for your future. Look ahead 2 years, not 2 months. JMHO. Ellie and SC make very good points.
I could see how getting a cheap apartment would help you move forward in your life. It might get depressing staying with step dad. It's easier to have a social life if you have a home of your own. 5000 for a year is really not that much. If you got a roommate, that would be cool, too.
Nowhere in there did I read that BF would be living there. Am I right?
Just want to confirm that. If you plan on having BF there, then I suggest foing back to stepdad's.
How about a nice middle ground. Go to step dad;s until you find a more satisfying full time job. After you secure that, you'll move into your own place as a reward!
No one asked me, but that typically does not stop me from volunteering...
I think it might be a good idea to move in with step dad, but only short term. It will keep expenses to an absolute minimum, but it does have drawbacks. I think it's a good short term plan, while TMW finds better employment, and locates both an apartment AND a financially solvent roomate. Once she has a better job, and had found a good roommate, then getting that apartment is a good thing.
Jumping to the apartment has it's appeal, but also has risks. Its more expensive, and does not allow her to meet her goal of reducing debt. However, as soon as she has a better job situation, and has a roommate lined up, she could very well enjoy this move to an apartment--without having to pay the rent and utilities on her own. (or deal with BF thinking it might be easy to just move in, thus blocking the opportunity of the paying roommate.)
I second Second! This is your "OUT" with BF and since you have no binding contract with Step Dad you can move in for just as long as you need to get things financially on track and investigate all your options with respect to apt and room mate. All the while, you are paying off debt and saving your downpayments.
With respect to BF, maybe you should go back 5 months start reading all your posts about him. Has it got better? How many times have you justified his behaviour and made excuses for him? If you're not ready to break it off - take a step back and just date him, don't live with him. The dynamics will change greatly. You are a nurturer and realize he needs to be taken care of but right now - its YOU who you need to take care of. You and your dog.
TMW, I'm not mean and I'm not usually this outspoken but I think you come here for advice so I hope mine is helping. It has been my experience (and a common one) that men do NOT get better in time unless they make a great effort to change themselves. Admitting their mistakes, not blaming others is the first step. Your BF would need to make a lot of HUGE changes in my opinion to be ready to settle down. I would use the lack of suitable living space as the reason to ditch him. Don't listen to his Mom, she sees you as his saviour and it takes a load off of her.
This is your "OUT" with BF and since you have no binding contract with Step Dad you can move in for just as long as you need to get things financially on track and investigate all your options with respect to apt and room mate. All the while, you are paying off debt and saving your downpayments.