Good morning everyone This past week has simply skipped me, I did check in a couple of times and was just bowled over by the wonderful discussion going on in my previous thread. Before I pick up on the thoughts posted, I want to update you on a significant breakthrough we have had over the weekend.
No, it was not the 'chat' I thought we would have one day. It was nevertheless a sense of peace, of genuinely being happy in each other's company. And acknowledging it to each other. It started off as a normal weekend, a spot of shopping, some house cleaning. Then a friend invited us to a party, and I was just comfortable where I was, NG could see this in my body language and apparently felt the same. After declining, he opened up to how happy he is just hanging out with me, and that he rushes home after meetings because there is no where else he wants to be. And he could see it was the same with me.
It was a moment of resonance. It told me more than anything else that we are OK. There will be occassions of discord, but we will work through them. In our own way, me by coming here, and him by stewing in his issues. Neither of us is wrong, and neither do we feel we should necessarily discuss every issue with each other.
We got here by mostly giving each other a lot of space, and speaking up when necessary. NG did say that he needed the same level of privacy he enjoyed before the affair, and understood how difficult it was for me. That he would try not to be so 'secretive'. All this without me saying anything. Just him observing that I was quieter than normal. He is watching me very carefully, it seems.
Gosh it really seems that your patience has reaped huge rewards. I can think of no greater compliment than the one he made to you about rushing home after meetings because there is no where else he wants to be. To promote an atmosphere like this is something I would aspire to … and yet something I tend to fail at miserably time and time again due to my own insecurities. I hope it things continue to improve for you – you deserve it.
...should just add though, We were chatting on saturday evening and I asked him what his ideal woman was like. His reply was 'pretty much you..when you're not nagging!' LOL Maybe I should take the hint eh?
Ah, , such a boost for you both! A wonderful breakthrough -- a direct result of your (both of you!) hard work.
Quote: NG did say that he needed the same level of privacy he enjoyed before the affair, and understood how difficult it was for me. That he would try not to be so 'secretive'. All this without me saying anything. Just him observing that I was quieter than normal. He is watching me very carefully, it seems.
How interesting (and enlightening!) to have NG say this out loud. I give my h more privacy than before even though I'm sure others would find that insane and also there are times when it feels nearly impossible to do...but I know that privacy is important to h ( a realization that came so late for me!) and that also, the more I give, the less he actually seems to need.
A good reminder for me, actually.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Wonderful! Sometimes, they do just surprise and shock us (in a good way), don't they?
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
This past week has simply skipped me, I did check in a couple of times and was just bowled over by the wonderful discussion going on in my previous thread. Before I pick up on the thoughts posted, I want to update you on a significant breakthrough we have had over the weekend. 
Hi Slowly. What a lovely start to a new thread. And what a wonderful gift H. gave by telling you that he rushes home. . . 
, such a boost for you both! A wonderful breakthrough -- a direct result of your (both of you!) hard work.