Hello to all the MLC posters who might still be around.
I just wanted to let you know that my life is better now. No more MCL antics from the Shadow. He's officially the XH now after 3 years of indecision and such.
I am so relieved that I don't have to deal with the daily assaults on my character anymore. It was draining and oh so false. One man's opinion does not mean everyone in the world believes the same thing about me.
Just when I was content to be on my own, a new love came into my life and I am very happy to announce that Paul and I will be getting married on October 1st. Only 71 days to go!
Life goes on and it does get better.
That's it for now. Hang in there Newbies and understand that this will not be permanent. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
And, Cathy47, if you're out there, call me or Paul! We've been trying to track you down!
Congratulations Cyndy! I hardly ever post but was delighted to see your news and wanted to respond. As you know I've been D for some time too, and I agree, life can be good again. I actually had a very nice chat with my ex recently and it was so rewarding (and a bit vindicating too, I have to admit) to be able to look him in the face and be truly happy. He even asked me if I'd like to go along with him and the boys to dinner, but of course I declined. Isn't life strange.
I'm in a relationship right now, long distance with frequent traveling. I'm taking it slowly. My progress was very hard-won and I don't want any of it undone.
How ARE you? You sound fabulous and very confident. My Cary house finally sold but I had to take a huge loss on it. Literally in the 10s of thousands. It was depressing but I made it through my NC years. Paul was fantastic and did so much work to that house: New carpet and kitchen flooring, painting, fixing, etc. I was happy to see that house go away.
Our new house is about 1/2 the size but quadruple the love contained within. Paul and I have been working on our little cape cod, remodeling the inside and out. We took a break over the summer due to shooting all the weddings that he booked this year. He is full time photography once again and was able to build up his wedding business pretty quickly. This year he booked 31 weddings and we have 9 booked for 2006 already. I've been helping him with backoffice stuff and album design.
I am still working at the same place. My client loves me and it's been very hectic. Loads of work so there's never a dull moment.
Oh, and S is doing great as well! He just finished 4th grade with straight As and a year's worth of clarinet under his belt. He decided not to pursue the clarinet and opted for junior football instead. He was featured in this month's local kids' journal for running in the Susan B Komen Race for the Cure for his 4th year in a row. He and Paul finished the 5K race in under 32 minutes and our little family raised over $1000 for breast cancer research. I did not finish in under 32 minutes! Let's just say that Paul and S are the two runners in the family.
Paul and S get along great and S even says "I love you" to Paul frequently and even hugs and kisses him right in front of the Shadow. HaHa. I have to laugh a little knowing giggle.
Ah well, life goes on and that's about the best advice that I have for anyone who's new to the board.
So happy for both you and Paul! If you are taking a honeymoon south...you might want to pop in to Gail's annual parTy the weekend of the 15th. Sort of a reunion for you guys IYKWIM
Glad to hear that old house got sold...it is probably worth the loss of $$ to lose the memories!
Take care and best wishes for a hundred years of happiness!
Hey lady . . . gosh its great to hear from you! I'm excited for the both of you! But who is going to take your pictures for you - please tell me Paul won't hold the camera out at arms length all day and shoot them himself!
I'm doing well! Have a wonderful man in my life - almost 2 years now - I think he's a keeper - hope I'm right. Forgot what it was like to really love someone - its a great feeling! We both have children though so we are taking the blending slowly. They all get along great but I can only imagine once we say I do then that will all change.
Wow, there are more oldtimers out here than I expected.
I'm so happy for you, Missy! Life has not been easy for you and I'm glad that you have a great relationship going on now. You deserve every smile.
It's good to hear that you're taking things slowly. Putting pieces together is rough when it's just two people. Add more in and the fun begins!
I think that was the hardest part about combining lives. Paul was used to his XW doing things a certain way and I was used to the Shadow doing things a certain way and that took some time to get used to. It wasn't easy and there were many teary arguements. But we survived despite the full set of luggage that both of us were toting around.
Oh, I forgot this little jewel that was delivered on 10/27/04. I thought you might get a kick out of this:
Cyndy,
There are some things I've been thinking about for a long time. I only wish I shared them with you in the past, and tried to appreciate & cherish them as I should have done years ago. I hope you don't mind me sending this to you... I don't expect a response, I just want you to know what I feel.
You were right... everything you said I would think about and feel by being so arrogant, ignorant and self-centered to destroy our marriage and family is true. There's hardly a day that passes by in which I don't think about and regret what I did (how I mistreated you and our family), and wish I had accepted your forgiveness, and worked to regain your trust back a few years ago.
As you know, I always, at some level, wanted everything to be "perfect"... especially me. I have realized that none of us are or will be perfect. Even more importantly, I realize now that imperfections and differences as people is what makes a family perfect... I didn't understand or appreciate that before.
Looking back at all that we saw and experienced together, I don't have any bad memories of our marriage... just those caused by my blindness. It was more of a case that I was blocking out the good things trying to convince myself that I wasn't happy, and needed to find something that was missing. As they say... if you look hard enough to find something, you'll find it. Well I didn't find it, because I already had what I needed... a good, loving family.
Thank you for listening (reading). Take care,
The Shadow
Hey, hey, before anyone gets the idea that he was trying to come back, I must tell you that the Shadow called Paul (duh, whatever), and told Paul that there was absolutely no way he was coming back.
Even in post divorce, the Shadow is as twisty as ever. Luckily I refuse to get sucked in by it.
While I used to think getting a letter like this would make some huge difference in what happened, it didn't in any way. I discovered that it wasn't important to me to "be right" it would have been more important to me that the Shadow would have actually invested the time and energy to fix the relationship. Oh well, to quote him, he just didn't want to.
Needless to say, he's not high on my Christmas card list. S and I cried a lot of tears together and I will never forgive the Shadow for hurting S in that way.
BTW, S thinks I'm the greatest, even heading into these rough pre-teen years. He had to write a paper about his Hero and guess who he picked...ME! His 3rd grade class made a DVD with all the kids describing their moms, he said I was "amazing". And in a quite conversation, he told me that I was the "parent that made everything right".
Even the mildest D is ugly and my beautiful S is finding a way to cope with it all.
Just adding my congratulations to. I should think I'd died and gone to heaven if my x ever sent me a letter like that! but for it not to matter to you was something I couldn,t hope to achieve. Maybe thats the love of a good man.
Wow, I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw your name. I've often wondered about you and Paul. That's great news!!
Geeze........to think I'm an Old Timer and I didn't even think I would be on the BB six months, lol. You sound wonderful, I remember when you and Paul met!!! Funny how life can be, it's amazing sometimes.
Things are still alittle rough around here, but nothing as bad as it use to be............time really does heal.
Please keep us all posted when you get married and let us all know how wonderful it is.
I still remember how great you looked without makeup lol, I'm sooooo happy for you guys. It's just wonderful!!!
Love to you both, Friend
PS..........your son sounds happy Crisch, that's because of you. And of course Paul too.
