I'm 50 and my husband is 60. We have been married 3 years. I'm reading DB. I've posted here about the fact that he won't reveal how he thinks or feels. I'm wondering if I should just offer to let him out? He acts trapped. When I ask him whats wrong he says he is physically frustrated. Is it possible that a 60 yr old man could be as frustrated as a young man?
Where at did I say I was bipolar? I take lithium, and Wellbrutin, which does pretty well at controlling things. My sleep disorder affects our relationship more than that. I have Delayed Phase Sleep Syndrome, which has gotten worse over the years. Have gone to sleep clinics and cannot get the doctors to agree on how to treat it. My husband is a morning person. I have friends who have this odd sleep disorder, and it's a huge strain on their marriage as well.
P.S. I forgot to say that the reason why I say, "Let him out" was explained in my other threads. He is passive-aggressive and his mode is to give the impression to me (and all his friends) that he is miserably unhappy, but he will not express it due to fear of being blamed. He has a severe "blame phobia" from his first and second marriages. He will never ask me for a divorce, no matter what, he will just act miserable and wait for me to offer it to him.
(see Lil's post) Thanks Lil. Good to see you pop in.
believe it or not, there are "women" out there who will go for anything as long as they can sit on a Harley. Including old, fat, grey-haired men
heartfocus, does this work on wives too? Does it have to be a Harley or would a Gold Wing work? Sorry just trying to have some fun. BTW, I might be a little like your H but no Harley or other pricey toys.
You mentioned you might get critisized for being pro-active before some OW bedded your H. Hay, being pro-active is what more W's/H's need to do. Work on the problems before the S gives up.
Quote: When I ask him whats wrong he says he is physically frustrated.
Get him to talk about this more and "DON"T" counter his statements with any but's or when's of if's. Just listen. If you keep quiet it does not mean he is right.
Quote: Is it possible that a 60 yr old man could be as frustrated as a young man?
Anything that can happen to a young person, male or female, can happen to an older person. My belief and observations from several college classes I was in it that we are just older kids at heart.
I heard this statement many times in college. (I was an older student)
"Whern I grow up I want to ____________."
I heard it about as often from the 20"s age group as I heard it from the late 40/50's age group. I even heard it from one guy that was 68. The big difference between the 20's and the 40/50's groups was the older group drank less beer, did more homework, and had about a one+ point higher G.P.A.
Quote: When I ask him whats wrong he says he is physically frustrated. Is it possible that a 60 yr old man could be as frustrated as a young man?
I don't think that is something that you can quantify. Is it not enough that he is frustrated whether or not it compares to how frustrated he might have been at 20?
Quote: When I ask him whats wrong he says he is physically frustrated. Is it possible that a 60 yr old man could be as frustrated as a young man?
GET A CLUE!!!!!!! As long as he has hormones going through him and he is alive and healthy he can get frustrated, maybe NOT AS MUCH AS a 20 year old but it could be worse. When your 20 and single you take a cold shower or MB and look for the next girl. When your older and MARRIED rejection kills your ego and self worth when the woman who took VOWS to LOVE YOU turns you down. WAKE UP!!!!
It is entriely possible that he still has the physical needs of a 20 year old. Many men NEVER losse interest in sex. Why would you thnk that men would expeience a decline in their sex drives? At 60, he may still want sex EVERYDAY, and yes this is NORMAL for men. Life without sex can be VERY unfullfilling to a man.
Why would you thnk that men would expeience a decline in their sex drives?
Why wouldn't she? Thanks to "media" misinformation most people I know assume that as we age we lose our sex drives altogether. I was at a barbeque the other weekend and a group of us got into the topic of hormones/sex drives and I was flabbergasted at how ignorant most people are about it. The younger generation don't seem to know much more about it either.
And by the way, it's also normal for more mature women to think about and want sex all the time. A good friend of mine is soon to be 59 and to listen to her talk about it you'd think her body was inhabited by the soul of a 20 year old guy.
Life without sex can be very unfulfilling for anyone who wants it and isn't getting it. Been there.
RE: heartfocus Is it possible that a 60 yr old man could be as frustrated as a young man?
heartfocus. I am 61 and the only thing different now is it takes a little longer to get hard, I have a greater ability to hold on to my feelings, consider her needs more because I can delay my gratification, and it takes me longer to get hard after sex. About everything is the same except BB seems to have lost her desire. When her desire is not there it does dampen my spirits to have sex and ML.
BTW, I get headaches sometimes because I am sex starved. What a role reversal problem.
Sorry just trying to have some fun. BTW, I might be a little like your H but no Harley or other pricey toys.
Hay, being pro-active is what more W's/H's need to do. Work on the problems before the S gives up.