It might be that we shouldn't do this.... in fact, if anyone still feels heartbroken when they think about the X, they definately shouldn't do it.
It does not hurt me to think about him/them; it's more like an episode of the Twilight Zone that I don't quite "get".
I tend to think that OW and OM can and do end up being permanent fixtures at least half of the time. I think when you are DB'ing, maybe it's helpful to minimize the importance of the OW or OM and their R.... but I'm not sure it's accurate or realistic.
In my wasband's case, I suspect they are still together, and will stay that way. It's not like him to jump around, he avoids conflict and he also would want this to be "real and legit" to justify walking away from our marriage for it. So I figure they're staying together.
It's not important to me, I'm much more concerned about figuring out my own life than wondering about his. I hope he does well, just don't care to focus on him-- and NEED to focus on me.
I have to wonder like IMP. Without discounting the need to vent, which is always of some use, how does knowing about my X's relationships help me?
Of course, if you were to ask me last year at this time, I would have had a different answer, thinking that knowing would be helpful, especially if it was "bad" news. I think I still had a bit of "I told you so" vengence then .
I guess I answered my own question: it depends on where you are in the process of life whether the situation the X is in has any interest or affect on one. Short of wishing my X well with the rest of her life I don't care to know about her anymore.
Well who and what my ex does or sees affects my S4. Therefore indirectly it affects me. Say her fiance was an ex-con, drug dealer, addict etc. But as a parent, if Ex or whoever she is with puts S4 in harms way...may god have mercy because I will not.
Other than that, if it were not for S4...she could have slumber parties with the Chicago Bears for all I care.
OW ran as fast as she could back to her H after H and I split. He was a little bit of fun for her and she's a party girl. But she has a cushy life and she wanted no part of whatever hard life my H had to offer. He thinks women are put on the earth to serve men. Ha!
The EXW : As far as I can tell she lost her job of 20 years and married some sucker that she met on yahoo 2 months earlier last year. I didnt question the source...he just knew her and volunteered that info..so I have no way of knowing the facts...nor do I care.
The EX lady friend...well...that's posted on my thread...and it was sooooo funny ! Her OM got crapped on, too.
I was the winner, here....not either of them.
It's kind of like losing a pimple or an ingrown toenail.
You're glad it's gone, but you kinda miss picking at it from time to time ???
Hey IMP, the purpose has proven successful. Some of my dear friends are responding. It is great seeing you here and with the stories we have heard, it is kinda nice to hear the end of the book. My final step (medication) was today and I accepted the final offer. It is not FAIR but this whole thing has not been fair. I am ready for the past to be buried and my new life to begin. My attorney took me out for a glass of merlot afterward. Very exclusive place (Presidents stay here when they are in town.) and we just talked about life. On my way home from mediation, I called h cell phone and just said, "Sorry it had to go this way and I want to wish you a happy life." I feel I am ready for my new life and am glad the past is finally buried. Like many of you, I do not know if my h and ow are still together. She is still with her husband but h and she were still having an affair last year at this time. Will write more later but it really is good to see my old friend and new ones.
"Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good." Hopeful
Well, then, there ya go. It is good to see you finally have an agreement. If anyone around here needed closure, it was you. This darn thing was just stretched out far too long. It is suprising that you are still merely insane (I mean that in a good way).
And the only thing I will say about OM is that I bug the $hit out of him...lol!
Well, I'm not divorced and my H keeps insisting he doesn't want a D. He moved out 2 yrs. ago. BUT...he keeps screwing around with OW. It's been a little over 4 yrs. since they met, and a little over 3 yrs. since I found out. Seems like a lifetime...
They're still involved. She lives about 1200 miles away, but still they hang on to each other, seeing each other only every few months for a week or so at a time. How sick is that???
He's planning a trip down there next month. I want nothing more to do with him but he just won't let me go. I'm so tired of all this crap. I prefer to think of him as dead...the man I married is dead, after all. My M is dead. This guy who keeps haunting me is someone I don't recognize and don't want to know.
Hopeful, I'm glad your mediation went well. I thought it was gracious of you to call and tell your XH you wished him well. I think with that, you truly are ready to put the past behind you and get on with your new life.
Count me in: My X-H and his OW are still together. They have been together since 2000, that I know of. Hey they are building quiet a history together, don't you think. I have not seen my X-H in over a year. He still tries to get to me through his attorney for something stupid occassionally. He doesn't get the time of day from me though. My X-H chooses not to spend time with his kids or grand-kids. Just his Ow and their new friends. Wonder why he doesn't marry her? I think he should, after all isn't she worth it.Ha-ha
