I am posting a reference to this post in every forum for one reason! DIVORCE BUSTING WORKS!!
My name is David. Some of you, who have been reading and posting in these forums for awhile, know me. If you haven’t heard of me or read my story, please read my story in the space provided by Michele in the forum "David’s Story". I must, however, let you know in advance that I never finished my story. Now, I believe I can begin the second chapter, at least.
My wife and I were separated for eight months, beginning in November, 1998. We lived apart and maintained a friendship, which I promoted and maintained per principles and guidelines I set forth from reading Michele’s books and some books on personal development. My wife told me repeatedly that she held no hopes for our future together other than the maintenance of our friendship. My wife had a life of her own that included a short (four month) relationship with someone else. Through the eight months that we were separated the friendship between my wife and me grew. A new trust in each other developed. I had made some serious changes in my life. I had made major shifts in my priorities. I had read everything I could concerning how women feel, what women want in a relationship and what women find attractive in a man. I read Michele’s "Divorce Busting" over and over. Each time I read "Divorce Busting" I found something that I had missed the prior time.
I also relied heavily upon my own belief mechanism which is, simply, whatever you truly believe in will become your reality. If I could see myself as an unconditional friend to my wife, irrelevant to my own self-serving and egotistical, natural human tendencies, I would truly become able to BE an unconditional friend.
My wife and I began dating again in June, 1999. We fell back in love with each other and she moved back in with me in August, 1999. I wish I could say that we lived happily ever after. I can’t.
During the next few months my business began to falter due to a split with my business partner. The duty of support fell upon my wife for a few months. This is NOT the best thing for a new, second chance relationship. In January, just as my business was beginning to thrive again, my wife became disenchanted with our relationship. I can hardly blame her. It seemed that things were heading back to the way that they had become prior to our separating the first time.
I didn’t tell her THE REALLY BIG NEWS just yet, but she did find out, over time, that she had come back to a different husband in August, 1999. I had weathered the storm of our separation and there was no way that I was going to let a twist of fate allow for disenchantment to come between us. I continued to work on the business and to employ the simple, unconditional friendship that has always been an ally in my relationship with my wife. During the months of February and March, thanks to the continuing dedication to what I had learned about Divorce Busting during my separation, my wife and I have come, once again, back to where we should be in our marriage.
This was, I believe, a final test of some sort, to show us that our marriage could go through a tough time without going through another separation and, probably, a divorce.
Believe me, it does take two, ultimately, to keep the marriage together. But a single partner in the marriage can make the difference in whether the other partner wishes to remain in the marriage. My wife was able to see me in a different light during tough time in our marriage the second time around. She saw me handle, in a solution focused manner, what fate tossed at me. She was also able to observe me under pressure. After all was said and done, she had witnessed someone that had truly changed.
I am proud to say that my changes have now undergone some very serious testing. I am still in love with my wife, now more than ever. My wife has become aware that we do, truly, have something very special. Due to my wife’s realization, I have become the recipient of a renewed and more tender affection than I could have ever imagined. My wife looks at me with complete and total love in her eyes.
I give a HUGE amount of credit to my wife for staying to observe and not bolting as she did a year ago. I do believe that the trust that was developed during our separation and what I learned in Divorce Busting, allowed her to feel comfortable enough to allow herself to stay and observe. I also owe a huge debt to our solution-oriented therapist who’s positive influence during therapy contributed to my wife’s being able to look at us in a positive manner.
I am posting this so whoever reads it can know that Divorce Busting works. Divorce Busting not only works to get your relationship back or back in order, but it also works to keep your relationship in order. When things get tough, whether you are with your partner or not, remember the methods of Divorce Busting. If you don’t remember them all, just pull out the book and read it again. Believe me, you will find some things that you skipped the prior time.
If you are working on making changes in yourself this is great, but also work on keeping the changes you have made permanent changes. You must spend a regular amount of time on keeping the changes you are now making and the changes that have made in the past, a permanent part of you. There will come a time when you will be tested. It is a fact that you are never so judged by others as when you are under pressure. Having made a statement, whether verbally or by your actions, that you have changed, will serve as an invitation for the testing of those changes. Be ready and willing to show anyone, anywhere and anytime that you can stand the test.
Most importantly, I am convinced, you must believe. I can attest, for myself at least, that my beliefs are my reality. Whatever you see yourself to be in your mind and believe, you will become. Period.
No matter where you are in the Divorce Busting process. Whether you just logged on today or have been logging on for a year or more, I am living testimony that:
DIVORCE BUSTING WORKS!!
The changes I have made with the Divorce Busting techniques have been tested, not once, but many times. The Divorce Busting techniques in developing a solution-focused marriage are sound and can definitely stand up to testing.
Whatever you are doing in your own way, using Divorce Busting Techniques........please……...
Keep at it and don’t give up!!
David
NOTE: If you reply, please go to: "David's Story" forum and reply there.
