I also wanted to tell you that I understand now. I asked you on my thread what you meant by "something happened" when you were ready to give up.
I think I know. I was at my wits ends last week....feeling restless, as if I needed to do/fix something, anxious, etc......I was busy and took a bit of time off the bb.
I couldn't stand my frustration at one point. I took out a notepad and started writing....to God. I told Him everything I felt and asked that he take my controlling emotions away and give me peace and acceptance instead. It worked! I felt better after that and have continued to journal to Him.
Minnie you go girl. I wanted to respond to you but couldn't get it into words, well I should say I didn't have time to compose my thoughts so that they would make sense. I am so happy you found the Lord. He has all the answers and who I am turning to for everything. Instead of running to the BB or to other people, I have been turning to Him. Of course Vinlad was sent to help me, so she has been a blessing and able to help me see things the way the Lord would have me see them when I cannot or am struggling. I'm finding I am getting more comfortable with the Lord, comfortable enough to let him see the real me, emotions and all and he hasn't struck me down yet.
H was supposed to have surgery today, it was postponed till first thing in the morning due to an open heart surgery that went longer than expected. This person was before H, who was scheduled for 12:30 pm. They started on this guy at 7:30 am and as of 6:00 pm they still had a few hours to go complications, so we elected to wait till first thing tomorrow morning. I pray the guy makes its. H and I spent from 10:30 am to 6 pm in a room by ourselves, waiting and waiting and waiting.
The surgery is to get a sample of tissue from a swollen lymph node in his chest. Tests will be run and it may be a few days before we get results.
I am praying for you and your husband. As Charlyn from Rejoice Ministries said to me in an e-mail, " I hope your husband goes through a Damascus Road experience!"
I also hope your husband does a Damascus road experience! Acts 9.
"Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul's eyes, and he could see again."
I am glad you listened, I was the messenger, was all. Sometimes we need to focus on our Lord.
I too e-mail "Vinlad" (Laurie). She is a wonderful lady, for sure!
I'm sorry, that I only pop in once in a while here, but I also need to work on me and my relationship with a very important person; the Lord! He has answered many of my prayers! When you walk with the Lord, ALL things are possible! And there comes a content, peaceful feeling upon you! There is nothing like it! I feel so happy, most of the time, but there are times that satan tries his darnest to envade my peace. But, I am getting better with my journey or my walk. I wish I could help everyone! Loves flows from me and the bitterness and hatred and depression are leaving! I find I no longer want to argue, for the Lord told me, "silence". Minnie you also sound great!
Cathy, take care of you and your husband; show him unconditional love, obey him even though you think he is wrong.
H's surgery went fine, I thought. H, I don't know what happened just now, he just got really mad at our S for throwing a car, spanked him sent him to his room. Then asked him to brush his teeth, S came out to hit a fly with flyswatter. H flipped out and said he's leaving, he has a kid that won't listen to him and left mad as a hornet. It reminds me of back in February when he flipped out because I didn't feed our S fast enough and left in a whirlwind and left me baffled.
He took his medication, he is not supposed to be driving at all, and he just left, mad as hell all becuase of his son, said he's not coming back cause his kid won't listen to him.
Yes there has been lots going on the last few days, H thinking he had cancer, OW in the picture all over the place, major pain after the surgery, questioning why this Sh** always happens to him.
Does this madness never end Besides the fact that I've been crying off and on the last few days myself, I'm an emotional wreck from all of this OW stuff and the surgery myself.
In my living room sits a candy bouquet that she sent to H in the hospital. I don't get it anymore.
I'm actually fine...lots said...lots going on...H did come home last night, when he left I'm sure he had no intention of returning home till this morning.
If he hadn't come home I was determined to call his bluff on his coin flipping idea..."by leaving, while I was running errands before this happened, you must have flipped your coin and made your choice" but he came home, the Lord sent him home and why I don't know.
I'm know that you're fine and that you're strong but I'm still sending you warm thoughts and hugs.
I think of you often my friend. I'm glad the surgery was fine but I'm sorry that your H seems to be very stressed right now and is taking it out on you and your son.
complications, so we elected to wait till first thing tomorrow morning. I pray the guy makes its. H and I spent from 10:30 am to 6 pm in a room by ourselves, waiting and waiting and waiting.