a new member's story. Advice? - 01/30/08 05:54 PM
I am 40 y/o F, my H is same age and a terrific man, two teen G's. Been married 17 years, dating 18. We have a beautiful home, savings, business etc, but I am so unhappy. I met OM who I was attracted to for about a year before beginning what turned into a 1.5 year A. OM, 40 y/o never M says he loves me and wants to settle down but does not want me to D my family based on our relationship alone, duh I have never strayed until now.
My H is really lovely to me but we have had sexual issues, he wants all the time and can be nasty to me if I am not in the mood. Many years of manipulation and jealosy and what I have considered sexual/emotional abuse. Did MC last year for 3 months and things improved, but feels like things eventually went back to the way they were.
I don't know if my feelings for this OM is real or just fantasy. Told my H I wanted a D last week and after a couple days of suffocating me, he backed off after I told him to just give me space and we had a great weekend together. He does not know about OM, he would be crushed. I was so sure I wanted out and after reading on this site I just don't know. I don't want to regret my decision. I'd hate to stay and have things not work out and miss out on a possible relationship with this other person who I really care about, hate to move on and miss out on an improved marriage.
I know this doesn't give much detail about my history with H, we've had ups and downs, we've never been apart, he has always been there for me, I just don't feel the same passion and love for him anymore. I love being a wife and mom, he's the only family I have at all. I am in deep depression and begin C this afternoon.
My H is really lovely to me but we have had sexual issues, he wants all the time and can be nasty to me if I am not in the mood. Many years of manipulation and jealosy and what I have considered sexual/emotional abuse. Did MC last year for 3 months and things improved, but feels like things eventually went back to the way they were.
I don't know if my feelings for this OM is real or just fantasy. Told my H I wanted a D last week and after a couple days of suffocating me, he backed off after I told him to just give me space and we had a great weekend together. He does not know about OM, he would be crushed. I was so sure I wanted out and after reading on this site I just don't know. I don't want to regret my decision. I'd hate to stay and have things not work out and miss out on a possible relationship with this other person who I really care about, hate to move on and miss out on an improved marriage.
I know this doesn't give much detail about my history with H, we've had ups and downs, we've never been apart, he has always been there for me, I just don't feel the same passion and love for him anymore. I love being a wife and mom, he's the only family I have at all. I am in deep depression and begin C this afternoon.