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A big well done to the declutterring. It is amazing how much stuff one accumulates over the years.
Originally Posted by MrP
W sent me her list of potential counselors. I sent mine back. W was a bit put off that insurance doesn't cover marital counseling. I've just let this topic sit in limbo since W initiated the discussion.
Perfect. Continue to let her lead this. She initiated the counsellor idea/topic. When someone does the heavy lifting of finding, arranging, etc, they might actually put forth effort and take it seriously. It’s a better chance than if you did the effort. Kind of making her work for it, without placing boulders in the path. Also, don’t be afraid to veto a proposed counsellor if you are not comfortable with them.
Originally Posted by MrP
I reiterated that we agreed to split expenses in proportion of our salaries to overall income and are supposed to maintain the status quo until the D is resolved.
Good. You didn’t get dragged into her baiting.
Ah, accountability and responsibility. They really don’t like that.
Holding her accountable to the agreed upon terms is perfectly fine. And it is a good thing for her to feel the sting from her choices.
Originally Posted by MrP
Phew. This conversation led me to start thinking about getting back to working on my boundaries for common relationships (at work, family, friends, in relationships), etc. and I'm genuinely looking forward to tackling some self-improvement work in that space. I know it will be beneficial and can become a valuable skill to teach D13 earlier in life since it isn't something you'll find in most schools' curricula.
Boundaries, self worth, resilience, self reliance, self respect, are excellent tenets to instil in your daughter (and of course yourself).
My youngest son works many hours on his university and research and he sees how precious the few hours for friends and family are. We were talking about XW/Mom’s latest round of frantic texting and then her lashing out at him. He relayed his philosophy and how he deals with her and other problem people.
“I know what my time is worth, and if someone starts to waste it - we’re done, they can go.”
I hope your week is good as well. My week is starting as the tail end of a blizzard blows itself out. Once the 80 km/hr wind die down, I’ll have to remove the two foot high snow drifts that are blocking the lane, sideways, deck, dog pen, etc. And to think, yesterday my yard was bare grass. Still, it’s a great day over here.
