Thank you DnJ, Kind & Rock, you've all been a big part of this journey.

DnJ - once again you are so wise. It's taken me a few days to reply because I've had a few more days of craziness. This happens infrequently now but is generally connected with when he goes back to pursuing the OW. Your perception & understanding is unreal DnJ. I met STBX a few days ago. He was regretful, insightful, thoughtful & I had a message on the night telling me how worthless he was etc. I was hooked back in quickly & jumped in with kind words to try & make him feel better. A few messages down the line, he was asking me when the money would come through for the buy out & that he thought it would be easier on me if this happened before the divorce was finalised!! My son then informed me STBX had changed his profile pic to one of him & the original OW. Sigh!!! More twists!! Took me a day before I unhooked myself. It was never about wanting him back, it was about how he makes me feel worthless & that our marriage meant nothing to him. I know this isn't the case. He's still in the fog, still a teenager & still confused. I'm not convinced he'll be able to do the inner child work & it doesn't matter to me. I will continue to be kind and forgiving but will also watch out for getting hooked in to caring for him. As my lovely friends & family point out, he knows my weaknesses & knows what to say that activates the caring side of me. I just need to get better at spotting it earlier!

Rock - My GAL activities are on track! I walk 4 x per week, I have always been a family cook but am practicing cooking more adult social recipes. I have my girlfriends round at least once a month where I attempt my social cooking. I've joined a singing group & am having private singing lessons with the aim of being able to belt out a karaoke tune by the end of the year! I have a girls holiday booked in Europe in May, a family holiday with mum & dad, sister, kids etc in July & a holiday to Dubai with my daughter in August. My son is volunteering football coaching in an Italian school for a month in the summer & I'm going to solo travel to spend a few evenings with him. I continue to work on my independent confidence and am feeling good. Hope all is well for you too