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He then text me how awful I am for accusing him of having an affair.
You likely hit the nail squarely on the head since he is protesting so much. Again how do you know that he is lying - his lips are moving.
SO
Now that you have this information what is gained from continuing to act on it?
It is best for you to go as dark as possible and STOP interacting with him.
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Here are the things that I’ve done this week as 180’s and boundaries:
- Lessen contact with H’s family (going dark). FIL in hospital and have sent a short text to him and SIL. Usually I would ring SIL and offer my support and try and call FIL - I’m keeping busy, catching up on jobs around my home (I work from home) - Resting a lot (as my work is at times very physical and the stress of this makes me exhausted) - Hanging up on H when he starts to get angry. No trying to fix him and cajole him out so we can talk about essential things like money. Just let the chips fall as they may - Not doing any work for him like managing finances like I normally would - Getting on here and posting - Not talking to SIL about H - Not phoning him, but letting him contact me - Really trying not to react - Talking low and soft and cheerful - Not reacting to him talking with the same accent as his XW and his different pronunciation of words etc. This drives me soooo mad. I used to say something and it would lead into arguments.
