But I think if you put "chocolate cake" as the temptation, you will see that you don't "have to." I don't know about you, but if there is a chocolate cake in my house I will eat the whole thing within a day or two. I can't have one slice here and there.
You don't "have to" check anything or know anything. In fact, you have NOT to in order to get the balanced mind you want. The temptation is there and very natural but like eating the entire chocolate cake, it will only make you sick. And if you do it every day, it could literally kill you.
I would advise that every time you want to look at anything about him or her or the next her or the next her (my was-band is on his second or third soulmate I believe), you have a list of things you do instead. You don't have to have the will power to avoid HAVING the temptation, only the willpower not to do it.
Delete all social media links. When you try to find them again, force yourself to instead read a book, bake scones, talk a walk, punch a pillow, read a psalm (one of the sad and desperate ones), write a poem, pull some weeds, paint a room, look at photos of children waiting to be adopted, read about climate change and set up a worm bin, pray, clean out a closet, change all the sheets, mow your neighbor's yard, write a letter to the editor, use a Q-tip to clean off the cage of a dusty fan, sign up to be a foster mom, watch Marvelous Mrs. Maisel or Shtisel or Madmen. Or you could say, I will read all the works of Charles Dickens, and every time you are tempted to check one of these things or wonder about it or see what H is doing, buying, thinking, changing, returning, posting, you have to read one chapter of Dickens (I'd start with Bleak House, also the title and theme and action of my divorce) before you can act on the temptation. At least it will delay your addiction craving for a chapter's worth of time and then maybe it will be weaker.
Lots of love from one who was once often tempted but now almost never..
