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Hey BL thanks for checking in. The kids are doing great and really haven't missed a beat throughout the entire time. They get great grades in school and both are also heavily into sports. They both have excellent friends from wonderful families. Zero behavioral issues beyond the normal kid stuff.
I think there are many factors that have helped. My ex and I live about 5 minutes apart so transitions are quick and easy. The kids have their own rooms, that they decorated, at my house. It's a nice neighborhood with a community center/pool and they already knew kids in the neighborhood which helped. They have everything they need here and at their moms so there is no packing of suitcases etc.
We do alot of (but not all) holidays together aka with my ex, usually involving mutual friends also, and it's all cool. My ex and I both do school and sport events and it's all good. No BS or weird vibes for the kids to pick up on.
We have a set custody schedule splitting the weeks in half, same days every week, which so far has been working great. I'd say about 2/3 of the year we run the same set schedule, and the other 1/3 is modified based on vacations and other events that call for some flexibility. It's been almost effortless to make modifications. It really could not be any smoother, being flexible is key.
I'm pretty involved in the kids lives, lots of talks, adventures, hang time, games, etc. I try to plan more stuff involving the kids' friends coming along for the ride as they are getting to that stage. My oldest is getting to the point of wanting more alone time in the bedroom or rec room which is normal and will probably only increase.
I know it's normal to be worried how the D will affect the kids, it's the cause of alot of concern, and if you make the right moves and have the right attitude I think things can be really good, not ideal from the kids' view but still pretty good. The whole thing about life is that it goes by fast and before you know it the kids are gone. Enjoy the ride and make it fun for them and connect with them and it will all be good.
