The key to dating is that, to be fair to a new partner, you have to be 100% sure you would never take your H back. If your H were to come crawling to you on his knees, begging forgiveness, and promising you the moon, would you take him back? If so, you're not ready to date someone else, because that's not fair to them.
If, on the other hand, you're completely sure that you would never want your ex back, I don' think there's a problem dating. But until your divorce is settled, you're likely to be very distracted.
I did date early after my ex left, but I had a long history of DBing him (he had cheated, we had reconciled and had a few good years, then he went off the rails again as he approached 50). So I felt like I had done everything and was truly done. Even so, the guy I started dating a few months after ex left lived an 11 hour drive away so I only saw him occasionally when I would drive up for a weekend - and that was good, it was an escape from what I was dealing with in the divorce, and it didn't distract me too much from what I had to get done. I've often thought it wouldn't have been good to have a local boyfriend at that time.
Do you still work with this colleague? That's the other thing to consider - if you're working with him and you date him, how will you feel if it doesn't work out? Is it worth risking losing the friendship? Is HE completely over his ex?
Really great points. It's why I haven't done the dating thing yet, especially with anyone I've worked with.
I like to think I'm at the place you were since it feels like this has dragged on forever too but you're probably right. I'm likely not, though I feel like I'm getting there. And nothing is worth losing this friendship over. He's amazing and I'm lucky to be friends with him. He's actually pretty far away. He seems over his ex but you never know.
Good points all around. Thank you as always for your wisdom.
