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Back from my trip to see my daughter and son-in-law. Logistically it went smoother than I expected which resulted in me spending about 3-4 hours in the outbound airport. Oh well - it could have gone the other way too. I was surprised at the lack of scrutiny at the border but it was perhaps obvious that I was well prepared with my vaccination certificate and other documentation at hand so they didn't bother checking that.

My bag coming back had a friendly little note from TSA letting me know that it had been searched and they did an extra pat-down on the way out. Just people doing their job as they should.

I was surprised that the kids didn't have the Monday off for Memorial Day - but stat holidays aren't a thing in the US it seems. My daughter did leave work early on the Friday and took off Monday with no pay to see me off which was nice of her. The airport is nearly 2 hours away from where they live so quite the hike.

We did a lot of walking, went to some scenic sites on the Saturday in the main city. On the Sunday I suggested that I was interested in their own neighbourhood so we spent quite a few hours wandering around there including a local Farmer's Market, some antique shops and art galleries.

They've made quite a nice home for themselves. The house is (to my eyes) startlingly small but works for them. They have a lovely back-yard that they have started a garden in and the neighbourhood is nice. I made a point of mentioning how well I thought they've done.

I could perhaps have stayed longer but the weekends are the only time they have off to visit. I joke that my kids can only take "so much" concentrated Dad time anyway.

Not sure when my next visit will be, perhaps in the fall. I have to rebuild my vacation fund as it took a good hit with this trip. I was shocked to spend $80 to fill my car with gas when I got back.

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At one point my son-in-law had what he perhaps thought would be a difficult conversation with me letting me know that in all likelihood that they won't have children. Something I've assumed for quite a few years anyway. I think they were relieved though to have that topic aired out and dealt with.

I did have a nice visit with my grand-kittens though. Their older one isn't doing well. I believe he's about 14 and has in recent times lost a "lot" of weight and now only walks with difficulty. He's in no specific pain though as he still loves being picked up and cuddled and doesn't wince anywhere. My daughter knows that he probably won't be around for too much longer and is going to get some advice from her vet on how to make him as comfortable as possible for the time he has left.

The topic of my daughter's mother came up a few times. I did notice that a couple of jokes I made had the same levity as the proverbial lead balloon. My daughter mentioned that she has a much better relationship with her mother now than she ever did growing up. There's a lot of historical anger and bitterness that I knew little of it seems. She did say that when her mother had a visit with her just before the pandemic hit that it was a turning point. I don't believe she's seen her mother since but undoubtedly is in regular contact.

She is frustrated with her brother who she has been counting on to be an intermediary between her parents and hasn't been doing a good job which lead to them getting two memberships to the local zoo for example. I did notice that I still get a twinge of jealousy on mentions of her mother in the "how dare she have a normal relationship with her daughter" but really it's none of my business. I am in fact relieved to know that she and her mother have a good relationship. I know that beyond any child-hood issues that she was upset at her mother for cheating on me.

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It's been a tough time for the kids for the last while. My son-in-law's father who he was estranged from passed recently and so they spent a frustrating weekend flying across the country for the memorial a couple of weeks ago. Issues with canceled and delayed flights on top of the stress of losing a parent and then having to deal with relatives etc. They've also had lots of friends and relatives coming to visit so have decided to set some boundaries on how often people can visit them so that they can have some time to themselves. I told them that I thought that was an excellent idea.

My daughter was also stressed that it's been 7 years now since she's been back here and that her thoughts on coming for a visit haven't been a priority. Lots of visiting on her husband's side of the family but none for her. So that's changing too.

Originally when the topic has come up the kids have said that they would stay in a hotel but now say that they would stay with me which is more than fine. I think that in many ways that is a function of budget constraints. I have no idea if her mother has the room for guests or not in her smaller house but I certainly do. No clue on when or if this will happen. They are looking into flights and what-not. They said that they will probably fly on this side of the border and rent a car to drive up. Money is very tight for them right now especially since neither of them are able to get paid time-off as they both are new in their jobs. But from what they were saying it seems that they want to come over this summer. We'll see. She was very nervous about crossing the border but I think they are going to do a small trip across on their side of the country to where her best friend lives as a trial.

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Surprised in some ways to see this as a common theme here. I certainly wasn't typical of the people that my xW dated before she met me being boring, responsible and reliable. The sort of person perhaps that she thought she "should" be with. I know very little about OM but from the superficial bits I can extrapolate from and from an acquaintance who has met him who said that he was "not really much of anything". Whether he's right or not for her is moot. He is the one she chose and they seem to be sticking it out. According to my estimates it's been about 7 years since they started dating.

Like many that led us here she did have some child-hood trauma that was poorly processed as well as having the example of her father, both siblings and a niece who were fine with cheating on their spouses. It used to bother her a lot and she held herself as "better" than them. So glad to not be part of that dysfunctional dynamic.

Ah well. Enough for now. I have lots to do around the house and property while I'm off. I have to figure out as well when I can do the fasting needed for my blood-work before my cardiologist appointment next week and it's already Wednesday.