If a specific post was interesting or useful to you, we recommend that you Like that post. It tells the post author, and others, that you found the information valuable. Clicking Like is another way to let others know that you enjoy it without leaving a comment.
Log in to join the conversation and Like this content.
I think the house is valued around 400,000 and its paid for.
The question is are you comfortable and confident in that 400k estimate? Based on the numbers you're referencing a home appraisal might be a good route. They're usually a minimal cost ($500) as compared to your home value and husband's salary so it might be good to arm yourself with a professional valuation.
Using $400k and assuming it's 50/50 if you kept the house you'd own H $200k against any cash value of bank accounts...etc. you split up. Can you cover that? Mortgaging the equity in the house might be an option, or defraying it against alimony. Talk to your L, accountant, any professionals to get ideas there.
Originally Posted by Stella20
H made 400 last year
That's a very high annual income. Like top 2-3% in the US. Perhaps you have a good number of assets to split which can defray the house equity?
Originally Posted by Stella20
And L is going for Alimony till I am 65,( I am 52) stating the emotional and verbal abuse, that I have documented, abandonment, (blindsided me and never told me he was "unhappy") the infection he gave me (can prove from doctors), my health issues (my back problems, the 2 surgeries caused from the rapid weight loss and stress that he put me though) and his public relationship with a married women. And we will not settle for less than 10 years.
I don't know if those are factors in the divorce. My state is no fault and alimony is based on a simple equation. But if they are a factor or if they can simply be brought up in court I'm assuming your H doesn't want his actions surfacing and they would at least look terrible and maybe bias a judge, so it's probably likely you'll come to a settlement without trial.
Have you settled any individual issues or received a settlement proposal yet?
Originally Posted by Stella20
As far as contacting him, I feel worse
Everyone here has made mistakes. Are you going to learn from your lesson?
Originally Posted by Stella20
I have been doing good with NC and GAL.
Awesome!
Originally Posted by Stella20
And I know I am getting closer to pulling the trigger on blocking him because after his little melt down, I almost did.
Do it.
Originally Posted by Stella20
And honestly, I have been kicking myself in the butt for doing that. Don't beat yourself up. You weren't the first one and won't be the last.
[quote=Stella20]I don't think he will ever come out of this, I think he will be lost forever. Maybe on his death bed he will realize what a cruel heartless jerk he is, but I doubt it.
Your goal is to get to a point in life where you couldn't care less what he realizes and whether he comes out of it or not.
