Peter, I was someone that was able to self-improve and I'm over 4 years with no regression. But I couldn't have done that without IC. I believe we can all improve and become better by putting in the work! But the key is not to do that for anyone else or to get someone else to change. The key is to do it for yourself! Because you WANT to be better and become the best version of yourself that you can be.
Also, to ultimatums rarely work and usually backfire on the LBS. Most LBSs want to save their marriage to the point that a WAS breaking or ignoring the ultimatum gets swept under the rug and just makes them look weak. Setting boundaries and sticking to them are way better.
"If this is done, I will do this action!" Much better to focus on what you can control (yourself) and not try to control what you cannot (the actions of others).
