I know I’m late to the party on this one but thought I would chime in. I think there is a difference between being friends with your ex and being friendly. I am friends with my first XH. He and I parted very respectfully and amicably. I can trust him and I know that he would have my back if I needed him and vice versa.
I am friendly with XH2 but we are not friends. I trust him to a certain extent as my kids’ dad but I don’t trust him enough for us to be friends. Maybe that could change in the future but I doubt it. He lied to me for too long and put me and our children through too much for me to just forget about it and believe in him the way I used to. He was extremely calculating and took advantage of my love and trust for way too long. As much as he wants people to believe he has changed, I don’t buy it. The only thing he did was divorce me and marry someone else. That’s not what change looks like.
And I concur with what Don and Bttfly said. I knew he had a history of deceit in relationships and I ignored it foolishly thinking that it was his age and the circumstances and not about the giant character flaw that it is. That’s on me for sure. Like they say… “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.” I will definitely pay attention to that in the future.
