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@mvg, I hear the loneliness in your and gingers posts. mvg, we’ve all felt that sometimes. In the moment, it can be very hard.
Originally Posted by mvg
It's hard to feel like I'll ever get support I want, deserve and will reciprocate from a partner
That is a lot of weight to put on any parter, to fill your hole because you’re struggling solo.
Why do you have so much stress to share with a partner? I liked kml’s suggestions about seeking more help so you can GAL on your kid-free time. Where are your friends—are you being vulnerable with any about your mental state and the joys and sorrows of parenting? Your IC saying there wasn’t much more they could do probably wasn’t when you were expressing so much stress and loneliness. Those are bread and butter areas for ICs.
I didn’t have 50% time with my kids—more like 75-80%. I was primary on our legal documents. Like you, NO help with school for many, many years (7->9yrs). When my son was 1, I had a live-in au pair. 45 hours of WEEKLY help for whatever odd or end I needed. Cheap, too! I also loved that she was excited to share holidays and vacations as part of soaking up our culture. No emotional support, of course, but she shared Christmas morning. By 2, I joined a homeschool network that had an educator with a master’s degree to help see me through tough questions and other parents to share joys and sorrows and diaper techniques. Also play dates (e.g., time to chill)! They weren’t single, but some may as well have been, their husbands doing little for house or home after work. By 4 I had a (married) friend driving my daughter to school daily and several single parent friends to share the joys/hassle of managing two young kids while visiting a zoo. It sounds like you need more “help” or “social network” than you currently have. Consider being more vulnerable with friends, reaching out to those 10 other single parents, or joining a single parenting group on social media. This can be turned around, mvg. ((Hugs))
Off to meet with my single parent friend and chat about our week!
