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((wayfarer)) Thanks so much for stopping by and for your support shared with me and so many others here. Eagle, you are always welcome to write to May on my thread, as is anyone!
Reminders from both of you: Answers will reveal themselves in due time. Don't stress too much about timing.
H texted to announce he's moving out by the end of the month and he's starting to move next week. Maybe my boundary pushed him along a little. We'll see if it happens this time. I've been in a slight stress mode making arrangements for my trip during a crazy busy time at work, and now I'm choosing, for the second time, to delay this trip so that I can be here with the pets while H (maybe) moves out. I will enjoy being away more if H is actually gone from the house anyway. L gave me the go ahead to re-sign the lease in my name, so, either way, that's a step forward. By the time L sends the letter regarding disclosures, H will be gone (or he won't, but he's getting that at the first of the month for sure!).
I've come a long way in becoming financially independent and in just plain feeling like I can handle stuff on my own, yet there's still a tiny part of me that is anxious about taking the remaining expenses on, nervous about how the moveout might go. A natural response to change and uncertainty. Of course I can take care of myself; I've been doing that for quite some time now. I suppose this is where I thank these feelings for trying to protect me and stay the course with no expectations. Greet each day as it comes. Focus on what I am thankful for. Gratitude has had a really centering affect on me lately. One of the good things that comes from difficult experiences like the ones we've all had, I think, is that we know we can survive. Or eventually, I hope, we come to see and believe that.
I'm also thinking it might be helpful to remind myself here that even if H does leave, even if/when I finally have a safe space for myself, I might not feel that space in my body right away. Or that feeling may come and go. I might find myself egg-shelling for a while, and it's okay if it takes some time to work through that.
