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I think about all of you, my friends, here often. It's because of you I've been able to get through the last two and a half years and am still standing, if exhausted. I thought I would update when something of interest happened, but I couldn't summon the energy to log in. I wondered how you were all doing. I imagined each of you healthy, happy, situations resolved, finally (especially you, Gerda!). I sent loving kindness in your direction. And then today, I thought I should log in and say Happy Thanksgiving, and tell you again how thankful I am for your support.
Two updates for me: A month ago, my H finally had his L change from an annulment to a D. That was progress. Of course, his L messed up the two-page document a couple of times, and it took much longer than it should have! My L is now convinced H's L doesn't know much about family law, and that we will have to serve discovery in order to get H to just complete his disclosures so we can finish this D. He's on his own timeline, though, as always, and I don't feel at the moment compelled to spend my dwindling L money to escalate things in that way, especially as there's not much left to negotiate: H recently told me he will be moving out by the first of the year. The things I spent so much time here worrying about--losing the pets, the house--seem to be off the list of worries. It does seem that this timeline of H's, though at times agonizing for me, has slowly allowed his anger to dissipate, though the blame and unwillingness to do any self-examination remains.
He hasn't accused me of anything since I last posted. We say hi and good morning, and that's usually it. Every once in a while he says or does something that reminds me of who we used to be together, and I am sad. Same with his moving out--I've longed for it and still I know there's going to be more grief, even as I am ready for this. Another stage of letting go, moving on. Now and then I'm still surprised that someone you've spent so much of your life with can be gone from your life just like that. Of course, he's been gone, if still present, for two and a half years, but the sounds he makes about the house are still familiar, sometimes a strange comfort.
My promotion finally became official. It looks like the new year might be a new start in many ways.
D, Gerda, may, WF, bttrfly, kml, Sage, job, Eagle, PLC--everyone here!--Happy Thanksgiving! I will always be grateful for you and will always wish the best for you.
