I think what SteveLW and LH19 are saying is you're being W's emotional crutch by being there for her at the Holidays after her mom passed even though she separated from you and is heading towards a divorce. If you want to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas there because gives you more kid/grandkid time it probably won't be the make or break difference in a long term recon but not sure if helps your detachment or moving on. The frequent calls, lunches, and Holidays allow her to keep you on the hook.

Anyway, sounds like you'll be out of the country for work in the first half of 2022 so that'll be some forced space. Use the time well! Work out, do activities, meet people...enjoy life!